Only in damn Wisconsin...

Here's a splendid entry to add to the "What in hell?" files. I know that this is the first entry to such a group of files, but after reading a hilarious text from Ous in which he said that he didn't know "what in hell" the teacher was talking about, I decided I was going to adopt the phrase. And after this morning's happenings, I decided that maybe there should be some files of it, because it is a phrase that I feel will apply to many situations in my absurd life.

So this morning, one of my incredibly talkative 7th graders approached me to tell me about something she had seen on CNN.

Apparently, there was a man, who she said must be very pathetic (you'll see why in a minute), who lived behind a diner with his mom and had no phone.

He was sitting at home alone when he heard screaming coming from his upstairs neighbor's apartment. Since he didn't have a phone, he couldn't call the police.

It's cool, though, because he had the next best thing - some family heirloom sword from the civil war era (I'll take SWWWOOOORDS, for $500...).

He unsheathed this sword, took himself and his weapon upstairs, and apparently entered his neighbors apartment, in search of the damsel in distress.

What he found instead was his neighbor, in the middle of viewing a porn movie.

Brut brut!

Now there are all types of criminal charges against this poor, good-hearted man. My student thinks the "porn guy" should be the one getting arrested. Pervert. Haha.

Only in damn Wisconsin do we have heroic men who have swords instead of phones. Here's the guy...

Anyway, here's the article on JSOnline. I love that it says that he had a sword "in tow."

Reminds me of the Mitch Hedberg joke about ducks eating bread, and they could have a beaver in tow...

You know... "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread, but he does not have the capability to buy a loaf. That's the biggest joke on the duck ever. If I worked at a convenience store, and a duck came in and stole a loaf of bread, I would let him go. I'd say, "Come back tomorrow, bring your friends!" When I think of a duck's friends, I think of other ducks. But he could have, say, a beaver in tow. If you're an animal, you want to have a beaver as a friend, because they have some kick-ass houses. Lake side, my butt! Lake ON!"

Ohhh, Lordies. It's time for the weekend. And Lers' birthday celebration. Should be heinosity.

Oh yeah... Plus, it is "International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day." The celebrity birthdays are lame for the most part.

Hey-Oh!

Hot chick (or soup) of the day!

Lately, I have been doing a bit of reminiscing and reflecting. I don't know if is because I am sick... Or if it is from other things... I had to fill out a questionnaire that really made me think. I'll get to that in a minute. And then I read a blog, one that I regularly read (http://kingofbash.blogspot.com) about Valentine's Day, and that made me think also...

First to the questionnaire. I got selected to be "Hot Chick of the Day" on www.93x.com. I couldn't decide whether or not I wanted to do it.

On one hand, it would be great exposure. The website apparently gets 3,000,000 hits a month. But then I asked myself... Is this the type of exposure that I want? Being the hot chick of the day on some rock station's website? Would it really lead to jobs that I would actually want to take? Then I thought - it's possible. You never know who is a regular listener to a rock station, or a regular visitor to that site.

I was only mildly worried about my students finding it - the station is based out of Minneapolis, MN, and is a rock station - most of my students listen to rap.

On the other hand, I was thinking that "Hot Chick of the Day" sounds like the most onjectifying title in the world. Like "Soup of the Day" or something... I mean, seriously.

So then I checked out current and previous "HCotD's" to find that I had very little in common with most of them. I also checked out the questionnaire that came along with it. I thought that perhaps I could show that "hot chicks" have brains, too. I think that my answers to the questions would show that. But then that made me wonder - will that even register to the people who regularly go to that website? Or will it be lost on that audience?

I guess we'll see. Boredom won out. I'm the 93x.com Hot chick of the day from tomorrow, Feb 16 through Sunday Feb 18th. Apparently that makes me "hot chick of the weekend" or something. Ah well.

When I first set out to write this post, I thought I was going to delve into a V-day from the past... Yesterday was the second time that my Valentine's Day (although I am not a big celebrator of it - to see my feelings, you can pretty much go read that blog that the King of Bash wrote) got hijacked by MU Bball. Neither experience was bad, but it would have been better if MU would've won last night. I was going to tell the story about how the last time MU BBall owned my VDay, my ex ended up in the ER, but I am too lazy to do that now.

I was also going to write about the different loves of my life, complete with pictures - I think it would be a hilarious thing to read - there is so much contrast! But again... too lazy. I just don't have it in me, I guess. That'll be another day.

Oh, and for the record (because I know it sounds bad)... My ex going into the ER had nothing to do with me. I don't want anyone thinking that I whupped his ass because he made me go to a basketball game on Valentine's Day or something! Haha...

Brut brut!

Brut brut brutality...

Earlier this week, my cousin Christine sent me a text to ask me if I wanted to meet for dinner on Friday. It was kinda strange, because Christine and I really haven't hung out in a long time, like since we were kids, other than at family functions. Well, she came to our holiday party, but I didn't really feel like we got to talk much, which was unfortunate.

Anyway, I happily accepted. I love Christine, and I am all for the idea of she and I hanging out more.

So yesterday when she got done with work, she came over and we watched Office Space to pass the time. It was her first time seeing it!

After that, we went to La Fuente. Mmmmm mmmm mmmm. I love that place. The food is just so good! And of course, we split a pitcher of rainbow margaritas. Now, I swear. When I've been there in the past, I thought they had a small pitcher or something that you could order. Like one that would serve about 4 margaritas. I don't know if they have that or not, but I do know that that is not what we got. What we got was a lot of margaritas.

We were at the restaurant for a long time. I got an inkling that Christine was drunk when she texted me from across the table to let me know the waiter was standing behind us and staring at us. Perhaps that could have been because we were there for like 2 hours because we were struggling to finish those aforementioned margaritas.

We went to the bathroom on our way out. This was hilarious, because Christine just couldn't get the electronic hand dryer to work. It was one of those that had the motion detectors. It was cracking me up. After she dried her hands on her jeans, I waved my hands in front of the hand dryer and it immediately worked.

Then we left. Decided that we would go to Murphy's because it is close to home. My home, anyway.

Guess who was working? Vitucci! I should have ran away. He provided me with a tall vanilla vodka and sprite, and a limon and sprite for Christine. She originally ordered a limon and lemonade, which I thought was funny.

Vitucci's next move was to give us each a skittles bomb, which was delicious.

Next came a shot of goldschlager. I think you see where the night is going. Toward heinosity.

Vitucci convinced us to go to his house while he changed. We were also with Josh (aka Lori - long story for another blog), and we met up with Drew. Fun times!

First stop was Buckheads. Christine's cousin on the other side, Brian, was there. It was nice seeing him, because I hadn't in a long time. He is one of those people that in my head is still like 8 years old, because most of my experiences with him are from when he was Janet's annoying little brother. In my head, he is not a law student at Marquette. Ah well.

We also ran into LP, the girl I teach with, who was with her friend Sara, as well as Noisewater.

Fun times! I had a few drinks there... And two pictures were taken. Here they are!

First, Christine and I. She's very tall, so it's weird that we are posed like this!

Next up, it's me and Vitucci...

Cut to 10:30 this morning. I wake up in my bed. I go into the kitchen, where I see my pants and underwear. No clue where my shirt or bra is.

I call Christine, because I wanted to make sure that she made it home safely. Told her I didn't remember the end of the night. She told me that I was so drunk I was falling down. I don't think I've ever been so drunk that I fell down.

I then went into the bathroom and found my shirt and bra. Then I remembered that Ousmane's game was today, and consulted my magnet on the fridge. The game was to start in ten minutes, and it was on ESPN. So I watched that, still kinda drunk, and talked to Tia on the phone for awhile.

Then I laid down for awhile.

When I woke up, I thought I would look at the pictures from the night before. That's when I realized that I my purse wasn't at home with me. Yikes.

I call Christine back to ask her what cab company we took home. She tells me that she couldn't remember, and that we were in like eight cabs. Whaaaaaat? I then asked her what bars we went to. She said Buckheads, which I knew, and Bar Louie, which I vaguely remember, and McGillycuddy's, and then she said she wasn't sure where else we were. Yikes.

So I called Vitucci. Asked him where we went the night before.

You know that the night before was good when you call someone to find out where you went while in search of your purse, and the first thing he says is...

"Do you have a pen and paper?"

Brut brut brutal.

Turns out, we were at Murphys, Buckheads, Bar Louie, McGillycuddy's, Jo Cat's, Scooters, Hi Hat, and Vox.

I had a lot of phone calls to make!

So I started calling.

Finally, I got through to Jo Cat's. Hurray! My purse was there! I was so embarrassed. I seriously considered asking where the place was located. But then I remembered that it was on Brady St.

I went to retrieve my purse. Absurd. It was my third time in Jo Cat's, yet it felt like the first, since I have no memories of the first two. When I got home, my friend Adam had written on my facebook wall something about "When are you going to stop being a ho and start dating *unnamed basketball player*? Makes me wonder if I saw him again last night, since I did see him at Jo Cat's that time after the runway show, and barely remembered it.

Still putting the pieces together!

The Holiday Party

So today, same bizarre student who talked about the vultures "pooping to stay cool" had another mind-blowing question and statement for me.

"What if a tree broke through that window and grabbed one of your students?"

And her statement?

"If trees attacked and killed people who tried to cut them down, there would probably be a lot less things made of wood. I bet most things would be made of metal. There would probably be a lot less paper, too."

Enough of that. Just thought you'd like to read that, since I've gotten a few e-mails about her and her absurdities.

Ah, yes. Finally, it's that time. Time to write about our holiday party!

Since this year, by the grace of our dear Lord, we have an amazing apartment, Danielle and I thought that we would take advantage of such... advantages, and throw a holiday party.

We wanted to maximize attendees, and we have friends of many faiths (Christian, Atheist, Jewish, Muslim, etc), so we decided that it was going to be simply a Holiday Party, and that it would take place a couple weeks after the real holidays. Christmas, New Year's, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, whatever! And as our invitation boasted, it was also birthdays for people such as Jodie Sweetin, Edgard Allen Poe, Buzz Aldrin, Marlon Wayans, George Burns, and Dolly Parton. We weren't even aware at the time that January 9th (when the party started) was "Play God Day," and January 10th (when the party ended) was "Peculiar People Day." But that alone seems like reason to celebrate, to me!

So we invited about 65 of our closest friends. 25 showed up. It was still glorious! I think it actually worked out pretty perfectly. Among the attendees were LL and J-Mizzle, who are shown below being adorable, as usual, and incredibly festive and resourceful, having wrapped themselves in our lights (which were, for the record, a birthday present from my awesome roommate Danielle, and were taken off of our legendary party cart, which will get its own blog entry some day soon!).



Other attendees include a few notable members of Danielle's grad school group. What a fun looking group, eh? They exceeded my expectations!



At the beginning of the party, it was just like any other party. There was champagne, vodka and mixers, the Captain and mixers, and many snacks. It should also be noted that thanks to Matty D, Sailor Jerry even made an appearance. That man kicks the Captain's ass. Mine too, at times!

What made this party unique was what happened after all of the guests had arrived. We declared in our invitation that it was a white elephant party. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, everyone brings an unwanted gift (or, since all of my friends and family are spectacular at gift selection, in my case, I just went around my room and gathered random things that I did not want anymore), wraps it up in an enticing and visually appealing fashion, and puts it togehter. Then everyone draws a number. The best number to get is #1, and the worst number to get is #2. The #1 person selects any gift he/she wants from the pile. #2 has the option to either steal #1's gift, or select a new one. #3 can either steal #1 or #2's gift, or take a new one, and so on. That may seem like #1 is screwed, but not so, my friend! After all of the gifts have been opened, #1 can steal anyones. #2 is left with whatever, just like everyone else.

Lucky me! I was #2. Brut brut!

And of course, the Prince was #1. Since I know him, and have played games with him before, I am tempted to say he somehow cheated or rigged it, but since I was the one holding the cup and the one who wrote the numbers, I know for a fact that this is not the case!

Here's a picture of everyone sitting around the pile of presents!




To the Prince, apparently bigger is better, so he selected the largest gift present (haha, pun definitely intended), which turned out to be a giant completed puzzle, in an elaborate frame. Danielle, Nicole, Cari, and my cousin's husband, Adam, seem to be pretty amused by the selection!

My selection is next. I am convinced that this was the best present there. Unfortunately, it is no longer mine. But there is no way that I could've prepared for what was inside that cute little gift bag...

Is the anticipation building? Look at me with my gift and our matching smiles. Too bad our time together would be so limited. I guess that is just a part of being #2 at a white elephant gift exchange.

That's right. A stuffed crocodile head. Can't go wrong with that! Good call, Matty D, on bringing what may have been the best gift of the night... There's pretty serious competition for that title, though, as you will see. Let it be noted that Matty D brought both Sailor Jerry AND a stuffed crocodile head. We really should be inviting Matty D to more parties!

And below. A bottle of Boone's farm. How pumped is Erin? Can't go wrong with alcohol, right?

Oh boy. If you look below, you'll see Meams, and part of her gift, which was a half-eaten box of bizzarre flavored chocolates from our Christmas package that D's parents send us every year, and a slinky. But for Meams, the best is definitely yet to come!

Check out that shirt! As Ben Stiller's character from Happy Gilmore would say, "That's some handmade quality shit!" That's right. It's a bright yellow teddy bear t-shirt complete with lace trim on the bottom, which Kelly clearly can't resist. But who could blame her? Word on the street is that all of Meam's gifts brought hours of fun to their household, which does not surprise me, especially since those two and their guests often = a fun household!

Next, it was Ousmane's turn to select his gift. Good thing Nicole was there to steer him in the right direction - she told him that her gift was the best, and he should pick it. And Ous listened. I don't blame him, I was very intrigued by what Nicole's silly ass could have brought as well! But I don't know if Ous could have selected a more absurd gift... Well... On second thought...

Here's a shot that Mara took (Mara took all of the pictures! Thanks, Mara!) of Ous when he is halfway through the unveiling of his present.

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. Ousmane's lucky ass opened a mystery gift and ended up with a huge pink rose... And by huge, I mean about 3.5 feet tall. Seems proportionate for a 6'10" guy, right?

Immediately after opening it, Ous walked right over to me and gave me the flower. How cute is that? I don't think he could get that thing out of his hands fast enough. I am starting to feel sorry for the guy. How many times do you think I will put him in a situation where he is...

1. The only person over 6'3".

2. The only black person.

3. The only sober person.

? I mean, the second time we hung out, I made him play catch phrase with a bunch of drunk white people he didn't know (and Jamil). Yes, Catchphrase. An f'ing word game. It's cool, because I am sure that that's an easy game when English is your 4th language! Ous, you're a trooper.

Here's a picture of him and I discussing the flower, which I gave back to him (I just couldn't accept it at that time, and it really was just too funny to watch him carry it around!).

Next up is Mark, one of Danielle's friends from grad school. A misunderstanding in how the game is played made him risk losing his puzzle (it was he who brought it, and his friend Chris saved it by stealing it later from the Prince! How exciting!), and made him end up with one of the most "interesting" gifts of the night...

(Picture removed to protect the innocent!)

Yes, in his hands is the Penthouse Pleasure Pack, or something like that. A vibrator, and a mask, and what looks like a spatula or something. I don't know what's pleasurable about scraping paint from a wall, or filling nail holes with drywall compound, but maybe I'll ask Mark about it later. On second thought, I just don't want to know.

Apparently my directions and explanation of "White Elephant" weren't very clear... In one of the quotes of the night, Andrew said

"We didn't really know what 'White Elephant' meant, so we just went to the adult store."

Bravo, Andrew, Bravo!

The other quote of the night, in my opinion, has a bit of back story.

On NYE, at Zak and AY's house, ACGilman was pretty hammered. Upon meeting Ous (yes, another situation like this, where I am sure Ous felt absurdly uncomfortable), AC tried to recruit Ous to play on his rec basketball team. Told him that they needed a center, and that he was pretty sure Ous would start. Also told him that he planned to bet money on the games that Ous played in. Good call, AC.

Then when I took AC and Lers to sit in the family section at a Marquette Basketball game, AC was very interested in getting an Ousmane Barro jersey, and other such things.

So the day of the party, Lers and I were emailing back and forth, and I had asked Lers how AC was going to handle himself with Ous being there that night, and so on. Lers told me when they walked into the party that she had given AC sedatives, and that he should be fine.

When we were moving from one room to another, AC noticed something that was apparently incredibly exciting to him, because he pointed at Ousmane's feet and shouted "We have the same shoes!"

In complete deadpan voice, Lers looks at me and says "His sedatives are wearing off."

That was probably too long of a story for a quote that you probably "had to be there" for for it to be funny, but oh well. Thanks for being a trooper.

And keep on truckin'!

I don't really know what's going on in this picture, but I think it's a cute one of Nicole and Cari, who I think look like small children. Awwww! Haha.

It wasn't long before the boys and their trip to the porn store struck again... Here's Zak Attack opening a wonderful gift of vibrating nipple clamps. Silly!

As I mentioned before, I didn't really follow the advice of giving an unwanted gift. Instead, I decided to rummage around my room and find different things from there to give away. Jamie has no idea what is coming to her, but here she is just after she lifted the gift I gave from the pile.

And below, you can see just how pumped she is to have received the following:

1. A dvd copy of "Willard" - which is that Crispin Glover (Marty McFly, in case the name isn't familiar) movie where he has all of the pet rats and whatnot.

2. A VHS copy of "Boys Don't Cry" - which is that Hilary Swank movie where she's a transvestite or transexual or something. I saw it after I bought it, and immediately regretted the Blockbuster pre-viewed purchase!

3. Expired pepper spray.

4. Approximately 200 business cards for "Rice Photography" with my picture on the front. A photographer that I (obviously) had previously worked with (and, for the record, enjoyed working with) gave me a ton of them, and I really didn't know what to do with them until a few days before the party. Now the big stack is off my desk!

Check out Jamie cheesing with her gift! Do you think she could look more pumped?

After Tyler stole my croc head, it was time to select another gift. I decided to think smart. I perused the gift pile and settled on a package that looked an awful lot like a bottle wrapped up. I was right. It was indeed. My glorious gift was a bottle of Dr. Beckermann. I am sure that I don't need to tell you this, as it is definitely common knowledge, but few men are known for their 8.5% alcohol bottles of wine like Dr. Beckermann! I was pumped. Unfortunately, it is not likely that I will enjoy the taste of Dr. Beckermann's product anytime soon. Sucks to be #2! But here are "the doctor" and I, enjoying our brief moment of glory.

Did I mention that it sucks to be #2? If not, let me just say it one more time. It sucks to be #2. The Prince's last gift he ended up with was a leather Kenneth Cole wallet. Apparently, this is not pleasing to the Prince, or at least it is not as pleasing as the fine taste of Dr. Beckermann. He stole my bottle of wine, and I got stuck with the wallet. I guess I can't complain too much, though, because I will probably get a couple dollars for it at least when I sell it on eBay.

Another reason I can't complain is because I actually ended up with two gifts.

Remember the giant flower? It remains at my apartment. After repeated attempts to give me the giant rose, I made Ousmane tell me that he wasn't giving me the flower just because he didn't want it anymore, but because it was a representation of all of the positive feelings that he has in his heart for me. He agreed, and then told me that his heart was now empty (because of all of the feelings being transferred to the flower). I then told him that I would sleep with it every night (fabrication), and we took a picture with the rose to commemorate it. He continuously un-tags it on facebook. Lame! But the picture's cute, though!

See? Told ya!

After that point, the night gets a little hazy. Apparently, I chest-bumped Ross.

And I took some pictures with Tyler (probably as some sort of gesture of peace, and no hard feelings from him stealing my croc head), which I look too heinous in to even post.

Then I remember taking Ous upstairs to give him a French grammar book and show him how to use it (which took a minute) and showing him an article on Dakar that one of my students gave me, which led to a serious discussion about Léopold Sedar Senghor, the first president of Senegal, and an issue with cookies... Then out the door. When I finally got back downstairs, half of my friends had left.

Then we packed things up, cleaned up, and went to bed, whilst Andrew, Tyler, and Ross enjoyed Brother's on Water St.

What a night!

Info Magazine Launch Party, Bon Voyage Joe & Happy 85th birthday - Parties to Remember (or at least try to).

This weekend, I had the joy of attending my great uncle Erv's 85th birthday party. Time with my family is always interesting. And yes - I missed Shaq and the Heat playing the Bucks (the only time, other than possible playoff games, that I would've had the opportunity to see my Shaquille this season) for such an event.

I also had the joy of attending the Info Magazine Launch party. This was a little bit more interesting than the family party... Although it lacked 82-year old men drinking gin on the rocks and inadvertantly hitting on family members, it had its own heinosity.

We should've known it was trouble, Nicole, Carrie and I. I mean, Nicole's friend "Dusty Rhodes" was bartending, so we got free drinks all night. So we had that going for us, which was nice.

My main purpose there was supposed to be to network. Well, to network while having fun. Nicole had some photographers to introduce me to, and she also wanted to introduce me to the man who is in charge of Info Magazine. I met a couple photographers, yes. As far as the guy in charge of Info Magazine... I feel like I may or may not have rubbed his head at some point. Sweet. I'm sure that to him, that was just what the doctor ordered.

I also met a couple other people on my own... One was Kevin, a man who has a jewelery line inspired by an African tribe... I talked to this guy a lot, because we have similar ideas about music and life, and because apparently these days I am interested in anything remotely related to Africa. I don't know if it is because of my school project, or if it is because of the boy, but whatever. Africa is interesting to me, so we spent a lot of time talking about that.

The other guy... Well, I don't really remember how I got to talking to him. I do remember, though, that at some point in the night, I tried to give him a website, and in my infinite drunken wisdom, decided the best way to do this would be to text him the link. We'll see why that was wise in a few moments (and actually, it remains to be seen whether or not that should be sarcastic!).

I also ran into a few people at this shindig. One would be Andrew. He is the best friend of my Exboyfriend, Eric, who I haven't talked to in months. That was interesting. He called me out on missing Eric. But I don't think I miss the current Eric. Having not talked to him in months, I honestly don't know who the current Eric is. I do kinda miss the 8 years ago Eric at times, though, which I think is normal.

The other people that I ran in to were affiliated with that last runway show I did - the one that inspired "Drunk Diary 12-9" or whatever that day was. Jason DiCarlo, and Megan *something*... The people who were IN CHARGE of the show. Coincidently, they are also in charge of the next show I am doing, which is on March 1st. I am pretty excited for that one. Hopefully, I will be able to pull my life together for it!

What was special about running into them was that I saw them at first, when we first got there, and I was still completely sober... I did have a margarita at home while waiting for Nicole and Carrie to come and get me, and I did have a couple drinks of whatever that purple-ish burgundy stuff was in that water bottle. But still - sober.

Later, however, when I ran into Jason again, I was not so much sober. I wasn't hammered, but it probably seemed like it. Nicole was walking around with me and dumped about half of her dirty vodka martini on me, which made me smell like.... dirty vodka martini. So the next time I saw Jason, that was what was goin' down. But perhaps he was actually less sober than it would've seemed, because he did talk about sucking the drink out of my shirt if he got thirsty - haha. Ah well. Here's a picture of Carrie, this girl Cherie (or Sherry or Shari, or something) from the NEWD line, me with spillage evident, and Nicole. This one is from Cherie's (or however you spell it) camera. I have one from mine, too, but it's almost exactly the same, except Nicole looks more normal in it... I haven't uploaded it to my computer yet, though.

That spill sure is sexy, isn't it? Haha. What I want to know is, why do they put drinks that have the most alcohol in the most treacherous glasses? I mean, here is a drink that is often 100% alcohol, and they put them in receptacles that have the most surface area for spillage. That is why I rarely drink martini's, especially if there is moving around taking place. Well, that, and because they are expensive. And, well, (I guess the real reason), because I am terrible at sipping. So I don't keep in mind that this is almost entirely alcohol that I am drinking, and I drink it as though it is chocolate milk or something. Bru-tal.

Anyway, so I talked to people and did my thing, and then we all left. Got home, took a shower, ate a tv dinner pizza thing (yummy) and went to bed.

When I woke up, I had a text from the guy who I texted the link to. For the record, the link was www.tialynlingerie.com. The first text I received from this man was a picture text of the front page of the website, which is a picture of me. Let's first mention that the text was sent at about 8:20 am. Who needs to wake up to see a picture of themself at 8:20 am after you were up until 3ish drinking the night before? Not me.

Throughout the course of the day, I received several more texts from him, about meeting to talk this week, or looking at his company's website, and so on. I kept ignoring them, because I was still kinda annoyed that I paid for an image text that was a picture of myself. A picture that I have the high-res file of, as well as prints, that I could look at every day if I wanted. Don't get me wrong... Tia and Lawrence, you know that I love the picture. One of my faves. But I just wasn't trying to be woken up by its arrival in my text inbox.

Yesterday, I got a few more texts from him, including (but not limited to) another picture of myself from Tia's website. And then, while I was napping, he called and left a message. Says his clients include (but are not limited to - my words, not his), Harley Davidson, Boston Store, Kohl's, La Perla, etc, and if I would meet with him and his two partners (one male, one female), we could talk about me doing print and web work for these clients. Sweetness. Hopefully he is not full of shit. Also, I hope that when he is saying La Perla, he either means the restaurant, and that I will get free food and margaritas (yay rainbow!) for life, or he means the lingerie company, and I will be paid immensely well. Either way, as I mentioned, for obvious reasons, I am not yet sure if I am happy or sad that I inadverntantly gave this guy my number. I guess we'll see.

Oh boy. Right in the midst of writing this, I received pictures from Nicole from the party. Without further ado...

I don't know why they are all pixelated and crazy, but that's me with Nicole and Carrie.

That would be the same shot as the first one in this post, but from Nicole's camera. Looks like the best one of all!

There's me with Kevin, the tribal jewelery designer dude.

And, of course, there's me licking Carrie. Why do I always do that? My hair looks pretty cute, though! Haha.

Anyway, so that was that night. Since we're on the topic of parties, I figure I should do some justice to Joe's going away party at Mantra.

Joe. How do I explain Joe? I met him through my friend LP, who teaches at the school as me. She told him before we met that I was a model, and that is basically how my old nickname from HS came back (long story). Anyway, she kept telling me that every time after she told him about me that they all went out, that he would ask if I was going to be there, too. Something about him being in love with me before we met or something. It was silly.

Anyway, we finally met, and danced the night away at Can's. I also danced with AY a lot, but I don't remember such things. This night was ridiculous. Anyway, we ended up going back to Joe's, and he made us French toast. It was disgusting. So, we decided we were going to get gyro's (Natalie, LP, and I), so we went outside to call a cab. It was after 3am. Anyway, when LP got on the phone, she gave the operator for the cab company the intersection we were at, because she did not know Joe's address. Apparently, an intersection is not sufficient. So she gave her the only other address we could see.

To this, the cab operator responded "Ma'am, are you aware that you are at the library?"

Oh man, that was ridiculous. So the three of us went back up to Joe's and slept on the futon and couch.

Next time we hung out, I wanted to make sure that I was avoiding the not-entirely-cooked French toast, so I made sure we went to Mykonos for some gyros. We came back, and I was sitting cross-legged on Joe's floor when he kissed me on the forehead and told me that he loved me. This was terrifying to me. Time to GFO!

Next day, I told LP, and she thought it was hilarious. "I'm pretty sure that Joe has never said 'I love you' to anyone before."

So, we joked about it for a few months. Then, when summer finally rolled around, we laid this info on Joe. He was quite amused. Didn't remember it at all. So now, every time we see eachother, there is the obligatory forehead kiss and profession of love. So funny!

Anyway, Joe recently moved to California, but before he did, he had a going away party. He used to own a bar called Rhino in LaCrosse, so he had the guy who normally dj'ed there come to Mantra in Milwaukee for the special event.

That was heinosity. I was doing shots like it was my job (which, when I am with LP and Natalie and the like, it kind of is).

Dancing the night away. Saw people from Racine that I hadn't seen in a long time, a which is always interesting.

Got Danielle dancing with one of the many people who I joke about as her "future husband." I'm always trying to set that poor girl up with someone. Not seriously, but in talk. Here they are. We decided on this pairing because they are both super nice people, and both are pretty short. Awww.

Anyway, in my post about Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite dj'ing at Can's, I said I would tell another story about phone numbers and Mexican men.

One of LP's best friends from college, Sarah, married a man this Fall from Mexico. They were dating a few years, and were basically getting married so that he could have citizenship. If things worked out, then they would get married for real at a later date. Apparently things didn't work out, and they broke up shortly after the wedding. They are still friends, and still share a 1 bedroom apartment.

At this particular event, Big R (Sarah's husband from Mexico) was apparently a dance machine, and I was his partner. He was dancing with me the whole night. I figured that Sarah must be ok with it, and was unaware of the breakup at that time.

It was another one of those cases where I was like "Oh, it's so and so's boyfriend, and we are all friends, so it's cool to dance together." Happens all the time.

Everything was fine, and there was a bit of drama (entirely unrelated to everyone who was at Joe's party except for me) at the end of the night. Life went on as normal.

Had to make sure that I got a picture with Joe, reenacting the forehead kiss before we left and he moved away. That was nice. See below.

The drama worked itself out the next day. Life went on. But then, weeks later, I was going to send a friend a text when I noticed a foreign (literally) name in my address book. Big R! Brut brut!