Brut brut!: August 2007

Alright, I gotta be honest. It was more dramatic when William Wallace said it about their lives and freedom, but my life is less dramatic than his as well. Or at least I try to keep it that way.... But that's neither here nor there!
Another confession - it is with a fair amount of shame and embarrassment that I write this blog. I just wanted to throw that out there. If you like it, take it, if not, send it right back!
Anyway....

Slightly less than a week ago, last Friday morning, (around 11ish) I was using the little ladies room (and was, for the record, very tired after shooting in Chicago all day the day before and not getting home until well after 230am) when suddenly the lights turned off, along with the air conditioning.

"Hmm, that's interesting!" I thought to myself!

I finished my business, if you will (and I know you will!), and went out to check out the scenario. Sho 'nuff, there was no power anywhere in the apartment. Being that I am an incredibly handy lady, I thought I'd take a gander at the circuit breaker. Nothing was amiss.

So I opened the door to the hallway. In a strange turn of events, the lights were on out there. I was so confused!

Next logical step was to call the blackout emergency number. You see, losing power at 11am may not seem like an emergency to you, but I had just gone grocery shopping, which I almost never do for some odd reason, and I was very concerned that there would be an issue with my food, so I wanted to get this heinosity resolved in quick fashion. Leave it to me to be focused on food first thing.

So I grabbed my cell phone and called the number. I would like to note here that at no point did I try to text the power company's emergency hotline - I had been teased a bit about my texting about a week before, and one of my best friends, Cari, said that if there was an emergency, that I would probably try to text 911. Bru-tality. But on second thought, maybe they should make that an available option, because what if you are in a situation where you want to notify the proper authorities, but you need to do it on the sly? What you are you supposed to do then? Y'all bastards who laugh at my texting would be sure glad to have me around then, wouldn't you? If we were out and I was able to alert the police that we were being held up at gunpoint by texting without the perps (that's right, the perps!) knowing the wiser, you'd be pretty thankful, wouldn't you? You may not think that's likely, but if that's the case, maybe you should hang around my neighborhood a little bit.

Anyway, back to the story.

So the lady answers the phone, and I explain the situation. She looks up my address and whatnot and informs me that we were scheduled for disconnection.

Whaaaaaaaaaat???

This could not be the case, and here's why.

First of all, several months ago, I signed up for payments to be taken out of my checking account automatically, so that I wouldn't have to worry myself with such nonsense.

Second of all, at no point did anyone try to call me to inform me that my bill hadn't been being paid. Surely, if I hadn't been paying my bill for so long that they were going to cut my power off, someone would call, right? Seems like an easy way to get your money.

Third of all, there was never a tag on our door. We live in an interesting building with lots of subsidized housing, which = lots of people who can't or don't think it's important to pay their bills. I have seen tags on their doorknobs threatening disconnection. I had never seen one on our doorknob.

I told the woman, very politely, that this was not even remotely a possibility, for the aforementioned reasons. She kindly told me that I would have to speak to the customer service department about it, and she gave me their phone number.

So of course, I called them.

And of course, I got some automated BS. After pressing the appropriate combination of keys that corresponded with my individual situation, I was informed by the voice on teh phone that the wait time to speak to a customer service representative was to be 29 to 41 minutes, and that if I would like, I could type in my phone number and say my name into the recorder, and I would receive a call back just before it was my turn.

Obviously, especially since I was on a cell phone, I gladly took this option. So then, after that, I talked to LL on the phone a bit, and she helped to calm me down a bit. I wasn't that upset, because I was sure my bills had been paid and that things would be resolved soon, but I was quite annoyed that my power was out and that I had to deal with all of these obscene heinosities.

A couple people called and texted. I was unfairly crabby to them, for which I apologized, but I was in no mood, especialyl since I thought that every time my phone rang that I would be speaking with someone who would be about ready to turn our power back on.

Finally, someone called. We discussed the siatuation, and she said that to solve the problem, she would have to take a gander at our records. To do that, she would need me to verify the phone number.

So, I told her my phone number, and she stopped me after the sixth digit. Apparently, she had a different sixth digit in her computer.

Well, that would explain why I hadn't received any "stop being a deadbeat or we're going to turn off your damn power" phonecalls.

I was furious. I tried to remain as calm as possible, though, as I was confident that I was going to have power soon and that this whole misunderstanding would be fixed.

She looked up the information, and apparently we hadn't paid in over six months. Whenever I had signed up online for the autopay, it hadn't worked. Fan-tastic!

I asked her the balance, and was going to pay all of it online. $798.31. Bru-tality, but I had it.

She informed me that her Payment Program for over the phone only took a max of $600, and that I could pay the rest in a separate transaction. This was fine with me, just let our power get put back on!

She tried it a couple times, and to no avail. The payment thing was down. Hmmm, this seems like a pattern to me. I am so mad that I am in tears. At this point, it is about 1142am. She tells me that another alternative would be for me to go to the Community Financial Center and pay the bill, but that the nearest one (which was 6 blocks away) would be closing at noon. She said that I could go right away at 8am when they opened, and then once the payment cleared she would set up a time for the workers to come out and turn our power back on. I wasn't havin' it.

I told her that I would be able to make it, if I hurried, since it was only 6 blocks away. She told me that if it didn't work, she would see if there were any alternative locations that would be open later that I would feel comfortable going to. I ignored the whole thing about feeling comfortable, because I was focused on getting stuff taken care of. She aske dme to call her after I had paid the bill to let her know that it went alright, and to set up the appointment for our power to get put back on. I told her that she should call me, because I wasn't trying to be on hold again for forty minutes. She agreed and said she would call me at 12:30 to maker sure all was well. I made sure that she knew my correct phone number, for obvious reasons.

So I sprinted out of there and down to this Community Financial place, which I was expecting to be a bank, or an office of the electric company. Turns out no. It's one of those payday loan store/check cashing places. Awesome. I felt totally comfortable there! And then, as I was sprinting in, a man asked me for money. If I had money, don't you think I'd be somewhere other than a check cashing place, kind sir? Brutality. The time is now 1155, which is five minutes before the place is closed.

I take out my debit card and being to ask the woman about paying my bill. She informs me that they only accept cash. WHAAAAAAT??????

I don't know why, but I didn't have $800 in my purse in cash. I mean, I normally have at least ten times that much, but apparently that day I was running low. Either that, or it was in one of my other purses. Anyway, so I asked the woman if there was an ATM there. Nope! But there was one across the street. Perfect. So I sprint out of there, and sure enough, that random man asks me for money again. I apologize, again, and run across the street to the ATM.

Of course, like many ATMs, there was a limit as to how much could be withdrawn. This one was $300. Brut. So I took that much out and then ran back across the street. It was 1158 when I was waiting for my receipt to print.

I went in and paid $300 of my bill. There was a $1 fee to do such a thing which was lame, but at least I could do it. I had also already paid a fee at the ATM which was lame, but unavoidable in this situation.

On my way out of the check cashing place, the man talked to me again, this time to tell me that I have a nice body and should keep on running. I was so annoyed. Could he not see that I was basically crying the whole time?! Brutality.

So I went back home to my dark aparntment. I forgot to mention that in the meantime, I had texted Danielle to call me when she got the chance. I didn't knoiw when she was going to get home, but I thought she should know what was going on. The first time I was at the payment window, she called, but I couldn't answer because I was taking care of business. Whilst I was finally paying the bill, she texted and asked if I knew why we did not have power. I wrote back that yes I did and that I would explain in a second when I got home.

D gets nervous at times about things, so I was kinda nervous myself to tell her that due in part to my irresponsibility, we were without power. Surprisingly, she was very understanding about it, but she did have to leave for work, which she then did.

So I sat alone in the dark apartment and waited again for th epower people to call me back.

When they did, I laid out the heinous tale for the about why I only paid $300, and how I was incredibly annoyed with the whole situation.

She told me that we should try the bill payment thing over the phone again to see what we could do, and sure enough, this time it worked, and I paid the rest of the balance.

She then informed me that it would not be that day that my power would be turned back on. She said that they almost never have openings for same day reconnects, and so I would have to make an appointment for Saturday. I was incredibly displeased by that, but was even more angry when she then told me that because these guys would have to be coming back on a Saturday, I would be charged an after-hours fee of $117. I had just given them $800, which I realize I owed anyway, and they wanted another $117? AND I had to wait overnight? No way.

She told me that because I was getting bills (I thought they were just statements - my cell phone company and the cable company send statements even though the bills are paid automatically, so I never opened them) that iwas not their fault, even though it was computer errors that caused the problem in the first place AND that made it impossible for them to get ahold of me. I was also upset because it was by sheer dumb misfortune that they shut our power off on a Friday instead of a Tuesday or something.

I told her to just set the apointment up, and that then I'd worry about the fee later, when her supervisor calls me (which was supposed to happen sometime during the weekend).

So the appointment was set up, for the convenient time window of between 8am and 8pm.

At this point, I called Danielle and asked her to bring home ice for us to put in oru refridgerator and freezer. I also had to go talk about the situation with the woman who works in the office at our building - the building manager. I also took this opportunity to charge my phone, which was dying. Let me say that it is quite humbling and somethign that makes you feel like a moron when you're in the rental office borrowing power to charge your phone!

Danielle came home with the ice, and some new flashlights for us. We were an amazing team as we divided the bags of ice into individual bags, and then organized it all quickly in the freezer and fridge. We used the available daylight to gather candles together, and for my to pack - I had a shoot the next day, as well as a trip with Nicole up to a friend's lakehouse. Then we deiceded that we'd go work out (during which I continued to charge my cell phone) and then go tanning, which we did (once my phone was charged, of course, haha). The fridge organization had us prioritize what would remain in the fridge, and what didn't need to stay anymore. One of the things that got evicted from the fridge was a bottle of Margarita Mix. So we decided that we were going to have margaritas (we always have triple sec and tequila around!). It was then that I came up for the title of this blog, which was my motto for the day, for sure!

While I finished working out (which was actually after tanning, now that I think about it!), Danielle showered and went to her office to do her hair. She gave me a nice trick on how to set up flashlights and candles so that you can see what you're washing (you never know when you might find a bruise or something - haha), which I used after the workout.

Once we were dressed, we went over to LL's new place. I did my makeup on the way. Once we were there, I did my hair, and Danielle did her makeup. Bless LL and her new roommate for letting us use their power!

Then the there of us set off for dinner, at Hotchado, which was very good.

Then D and I went home and had some margaritas.

Here are some photos of that event. The first one is an action shot of me making a margarita with a flashlight in ym hand to see what I was doing. The flash on teh camera made it incredibly bright, so this picture really isn't what it should be. It was WAY darker when the flash wasn't illuminating the room.

Since the flash had been so heinous, I tried to take a picture with it off. It is a much better representation of the situation that we had been in, although it does lack me and mixing the margaritas absurdly. Oh well. You will notice that I must've been receiving a text, since my phone is all lit up. Holla!

After each of us drank a margarita, we went upstairs to the 6th floor where our good friend Nate Dogg (you will read more about him when I get around to my Summerfest/Danielle's birthday blog) was celebrating his birthday.

That was absurd. Danielle had all of the sudden been feeling a wee bit drunk when we were home still, and didn't finish her margarita. So she decided to take it easy at Nate's, where she only had a beer. I let Nate, a young college student, mix my drink, which was raspberry smirnoff and white diet green tea. Yeah, I know it sounds nasty. Tastes just as good as it sounds, too!

So I started feeling a little squiffy, but nothing crazy. I did try to pay Nathan 45 cents or so to lick bbq sauce off a friend's chest, and also tried to find out whose chest was shaven, and talk people into shaving their chests to facilitate these absurdities, but it was not fruitful. And as Danielle says, which I agree with, that is something that I would do completely sober anyway. I mean, who wouldn't stand up in a crowded room of people she didn't know and yell "I need everyone's attention. Who all here shaves their chest?"

After some time there, we left, to go to Decibel, which is where it seems as though I am living these days. Man, I love that place, always a good time. There will be a blog about that in the future, as well, specifically about the Tuesday before this particular Friday. One of my friends that I have done a couple fashion shows with was there with a friend from out of town, so we met up with her.

After that, we went home to our apartment, which was lacking in power.

Somehow, we managed to get people to come hang out with us. The funny thing is, both of these individuals (Nate Dogg and a former MU BBall player that I had recently befriended, who everyone thought was terrifying) could've been at home, enjoying electricity. Nate's situation was even more silly, since he came downstairs from his power-having apartment to ours!

So we sat around in the daark for awhile, everyone returned to their homes (or me, since I was home, to my bed), and called it a night. I slept with a flashlight that night. It may or may not still be in my bed, since I only share my bed with Refugio these days, and neither of us takes up the whole queen-sized space! Anyway....

Woke up in the morning feeling pretty hung over... It was actually kinda brutal.

I got ready as best I could, and grabbed my stuff to go to my shoot. I ended up doing my makeup in the car, because the daylight was good.

Got to the shoot, adn that was kinda brutal. It was on a 60-ft yacht on Lake Michigan, and the waves were killer. I was feeling a little iffy, like in my blood donation story (mayhem!), but ended up being one of the only models that didn't vom! I was pretty impressed and proud of myself, since I had been so hung over!

Right after, I was able to talk to the power company and get the rate reduced on our fee, which I was quite pleased about!

Meanwhile, LL hung out in the dark ages and was able to let our electric dude in to turn on the power, which was much appreciated. Thanks, LL! You're awesome, and you know this!

I got a couple of my pictures back from that shoot today. They are shown below. I am pretty happy with myself! Holla!

Later, I will write about after the shoot, going up to the lake house with Nicole, and the Heinous Sunday night at Redlight the next day.... But that will take quite some time!

Alright, well I gotta leave to drive/ride to NYC tomorrow for the Lingerie Americas tradeshow. I am pumped. The drive will be long, though, so feel free to send me texts to keep me from getting too bored, or from missing you all too much!

Also, Mom, I told you that I would be emailing you with the information.... Today was a really stressful one for T, and she didn't have all the info immediately available. I'll call you sometime during the trip to let you know what's up, and you obviously can call me anytime.

Alright, NYC here I come! I love and miss all of you already. I apologize that I won't be blogging whilst in NYC, but I'm sure you understand! Hopefully I will have time to blog that and all the other ridiculous stuff I referenced when I get back.

Love and miss ya and wish you were coming with me! Holla!

Brut brut!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Whaaat?

Friday, August 10, 2007

Mama Seuss

Friday, August 3, 2007

They can take away our Power, but they can't take away our party!

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