Training for the 3day has been going relatively well. It is a little difficult to take these weeks (we're at week 19 now) seriously, since there is an 18-week plan, but in an effort to get my booty in gear, I told my students about the walk, and asked them to stay on me and make sure I am walking. Let me tell you, 6th graders love the chance to call their teachers out! So now I walk just so that I don't have to hang my head in shame when they ask me if I walked like I was supposed to!
I sent out a mass email asking for funds and encouragement to my staff at school last week, and here is one of the responses I got:
Hey M! Power to you...I was thinking of visiting a good friend in Boston this summer and doing the Walk there...however, my body says "no you dummy, you can hardly vwalk as it is with that crappy back!"...So for my 3 deceased good, good friends who bravely fought breast cancer and lost, for my sister who is a surviver and for your mother I will gladly support your walk for $40.00...if you can come up with a good joke ( I love your laugh!).
This was from one of the gym teachers at our school. He in the past has enjoyed sitting next to me during staff and learning team meetings because I crack jokes the whole time.
I am not as good at jokes as I am making fun of people and situations, so I reached out to my facebook and twitter community for jokes to tell him. I figured I'd share the jokes here, because they certainly brightened up my day when I read them, and who doesn't like a good laugh? (If you are a fun-hater and don't like a good laugh, please close this window and seriously consider never talking to me again, or letting me know that you need an intervention).
Anyway, here are the jokes!
How's a man like a linoleum floor? If you lay him right the first time you can walk all over him for the next 30 years.
A man walks into his Psychiatrist's office covered in nothing but saran wrap... the Dr takes one look at him and says "Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"
A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?"
What did the snail say on a turtle's back? Answer: weeeeeeeeeee!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, laying in a pile of leaves? Russell.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pool? Bob.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs fighting with a cat? Claude.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He tells the bartender "I'll take a beer for me and one for the road."
What happened when the butcher accidentally backed into his meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.
Two peanuts were walking in a bad part of town. One was assaulted.
A baby seal walks into a club...
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pool? Bob.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs fighting with a cat? Claude.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He tells the bartender "I'll take a beer for me and one for the road."
What happened when the butcher accidentally backed into his meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.
Two peanuts were walking in a bad part of town. One was assaulted.
A baby seal walks into a club...
A man is reading a newspaper on the bus, when a blonde woman gets on and sits down next to him. The newspaper headline says "12 Brazilian Men Die in Bombing" The blonde woman reads this, then says to the man "That's terrible, terrible news...but how many is a brazillian?"
How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.
Do you know why Helen Keller couldn't drive? Cause she was a woman.
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
A pair of Mean looking jumper cables walks into a bar and orders a drink... The bartender says hesitantly. "Ok I'll serve you but don't start anything"
What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hareline!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? WIPED HIS BUTT!
A guy walks into a bar carrying an alligator and says to the patrons, "Here's a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals (I'll keep it clean(ish)) inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit without a scratch. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. The gator closes its mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
I think I am going to either go with the Brazilians or the cannibal! I had never heard the cannibal joke. The receding hareline was my mom's, and I might tell him that one, too. Maybe the more jokes I tell him, the more he'll donate - haha. Or maybe he will send them to more people. I didn't see him today, so I hopefully will tomorrow! I'll keep you all posted.
Anyway, here's the link again that you can use to donate or share with people you know that might be interested in donating. I've appreciated all of the encouragement so far, so please keep it up! And feel free to post more jokes as a comment! =)
