Here or maybe just below (if I can figure this out) is a picture Shaq uploaded this evening. Too funny!!!
Ok, so in the last blog (which was really recent, don't you agree?), I said that Danielle's birfday deserved its own blog. Time to see why!
As you may remember from last year, her birthday is during Summerfest. So, it is oft part of the celebration to go to such a fest. I was particularly displeased with the majority of the Summerfest lineup this year, so I remained home. Danielle, and Julie, on the other hand, went to see... someone. I don't remember who.
Anyway, as is often the case, the shuttle buses can be a pain in the other end. This was no different on Danielle's birthday, which meant that we got a bit of a late start.
(By the way, just got a tweet from Shaq - "I'm watching my 8 year old son play, i'm jealous he's a better free throw shoota" - hilarious, and honest!)
Moving on (still feelin' that last blog, I guess!).
We stopped briefly at Cush for a quick birthday shot with the twins, and then went to Decibel, where Streetz was spinning.
There was a surprise waiting for Danielle there - Ous! He came out jsut for her birthday!
The height difference between these two never ceases to entertain!
By the way, thanks to Alleged Marcus, Danielle's drink was nearly entirely 44!
And Ous, being the sweet man he is, took a picture of the three of us (Danielle, Julie, and I).
Decibel, honestly, was pretty uneventful. The craziness actually happened afterward. But you still had to see these next couple shots coming!
And you know I love to take pictures in Streetz's chains, so here that is... And here I am with Julie!
I definitely needed a picture of Danielle with the man who could've possibly gotten her drunk that night, if there wouldn't've been such a sobering event later, so here's Danielle with Alleged Marcus!
Sensual Amber was there, and wanted to show Danielle some love....
Awww. So much love!
So, we left Decibel. We were stopped on the corner of Water and Juneau, when suddenly Danielle says...
"Is that Buddha?"
I thought to myself, "What is she talking about?"
But sure enough, it was!
There he was, standing on the corner, bleeding, and looking absurd.
We yelled his name, and so he came over to the car, and talked to us a bit.
Apparently (as well as shockingly), Buddha had gotten into a fight at the Corner (may it rest in peace), and was still quite upset.
Although Buddha is worse than I am as far as knowing everyone in the United States (we are quite the pair together), he didn't seem to have anyone around him that he knew, so we picked him up, and brought him home with us. Is it weird that that sentence sounded like we found a stray puppy?
Anyway, so we were about halfway home when we came across something that was, no lie, one of the most disturbing things I had ever seen in my life.
A mentally disabled man was getting beaten in the street. He was getting choked with a car antenna that was still attached to the car while his pants and shoes were being taken off his body, and he was getting lifted off the ground.
So, we pulled over, which made the assailants (two men and a woman) drive away, and we called 911. We waited for the police to come, and the four of us gave our statements.
Buddha was great with the cops - very impressive with descriptions and everything. We ladies were mostly just freaked out, but Buddha was all talking about how the one guy looked like Greg Oden (he was totally right!), and so on. Anyway, way sober-seeming.
Turns out, no. Not sober.
When we got back home, we were walking through the creepy tunnel, when suddenly Buddha starts talking about how it seemed like we were underground at Miller Park, because apparently, that is what our basement looks like.
Whaaaaaaaat?!?!
Oh man, he was quite the dictuary quote adder that night!
I don't remember what many of the quotes were in reference to, but here are a bunch of them!
"I rolled it up a pollywog."
"It's like two pollacks in a shirt."
"You have rainbow tunnels."
"You're better than a non-DeFrancisco."
"Sassafrancisco."
"Ok, Miss Deflower....cisco."
"Defriends?"
"My parents just got caller id last week. So I would cook shit...."
Oh, Buddha....
It was then that Buddha decided that he would activate (or bring to life, or whatever) the seamonkeys that Danielle got for Christmas like.... seven years ago (literally).
The kit contains the aquarium, the monkeys, and, of course, growth food.
Growth food would become an integral part of the night.
And here is Buddha (notice his outfit!) with the growth food.
And here he is about to add some to the monkeys....
I am pretty sure that at this point, Danielle and I were both trying to capture this on film, so there are many camera angles involved....
And another...
Closer....
And from behind.... Look how serious he is! He is so calculated with his measurement!
And, as per usual for Buddha style, he is cracking people up in the process. Look at Danielle on the floor!
At some point, he must've tried to eat some, because I have this quote in my list....
"Growth food tastes like shit!"
Obviously, Buddha needed a drink. I am not for letting a great friend drink alone, so I had some, too.
His poison of choice was Sailor Jerry....
And his quote?
"Sailor Jerry, you're a fuckin animal."
It was at this point (or shortly thereafter) that Buddha decided that he needed to put his bare ass on Danielle (I feel as though everyone comes to this determination at some point or another in his or her life)!
Here are some hilarious (at least in my opinion) photos of that business!
His balance is not as awesome as you might expect....
Danielle loves every minute of this.
But, it got out of hand, and hurt her plant. This made Danielle sad!
I think Buddha calmed down a bit....
Ok, turns out, no. Or, perhaps for Buddha, calming down is a relative term!
At least Julie (who is one of the shyest people in the world) was not at all uncomfortable!
The following picture is amazing!
Ok, time to break up the pictures with another batch of Buddha quotes....
I guess usually, he doesn't like cats, but he was quite taken with Refugio.... Here are some examples.
"I don't like guys, but you're making me gay. You have pretty fuckin' eyes." (To Refugio.)
"You are a cheetah. You are a goddamn cheetah."
And a couple random ones....
(Completely out of nowhere, to Danielle) "You better cook me some goddamn fuckin spinach pies."
"Arinze makes Ousmane look like a goldfish."
Danielle: "Mine must be shanties!"
(I am guessing that this is because Buddha calls LL's tatas "Motorboating palaces of fun" and since hers are palaces and much bigger than mine, mine are "Motorboating huts of fun" (although I don't think he's motorboated me!), so I guess Danielle was continuing on....)
"When I come back, you're done, Cubs fan." (Buddha asked that this quote in particular be documented, and he was referring to Julie, who was wearing a Cubs shirt.)
"I will poop in your cheerios."
"Honey flavored? Oh, that ain't honey flavored. That's turds."
"I have honey-flavored turds!"
"You know what my favorite word is? Circumference!"
"I'm trying to stick my toe in your butt."
"I will eat Donnie Wahlberg, That boy is eaten!"
Did I mention that when Buddha was being so exact and so on with the growth food, that he decided that he was going to dump the ENTIRE packet in?
Here is Danielle with the seamonkeys....
"Your seamonkeys are fucking stillborns."
That is what Buddha had to say, after we could see no life in that jar. And, I had forgotten to mention that Buddha had also given these lucky seamonkeys a shot or two of Sailor Jer to jumpstart their lives.
"I am going to blow Paul."
That one, I don't know where it came from.
"You stop laughing, Cubs shirt. Or else I will bite your nipple."
Again, to Julie. Lawd.
As I mentioned, Buddha took a liking to Refugio. 'Tis safe to say that they bonded....
To Refugio (aka Cujo, aka Goliath): "When these people are done talking shit about us, we're going to take a shot of rum."
And some final few quotes???
"That is what I remember from the Romanian fucking orphanage. The world handball ass slapping fucking champion."
"Stoic and garlic are two of the best spices ever."
"You guys are scallywags right now. You fuckin motorboatin scallywags."
"friend him, and then do it, and then I'll friend it, and then I'll send him a picture of...... LL. LL's my favorite!"
"I stab you in the mouth. Huh? And say, hey, I love you!"
Yeah.... So shortly after that quote (I'm guessing), Buddha passed out. Errr, fell asleep? SO I wrote him a note explaining where he was (he had never before been to our place) and where I was (in case he needed anything) so that if he woke up at any point, he wouldn't be TOO confused and lost!
Next day, I helped him find his car, and such is the story. Happy birthday, Danielle! =P
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