A little help here?

Ugh. I have had a couple rough days in a row at school.

I seek your advice.

I have this student who has a rough home life. He is in his fourth foster home THIS YEAR.

He takes medication for ADHD.

I had him for homeroom last year, and the beginning of this year and last year, he was an ideal student. He was enthusiastic, polite, great at asking when he didn't understand things, basically a teacher's dream.

One day, he didn't have his materials. He explained that he changed foster homes the night before, and didn't have his stuff yet. Since that day, everything has been a struggle with him.

He has been picking little fights with people. Swearing, dropping N-bombs, and so on.

I knew that he was having personal struggles, AND not getting his medication, so I didn't necessarily think that punishment was appropriate.

So, when he really got out of hand, I would send him out of the room... Sometimes to the guidance counselor, sometimes to the principal.

Well, today, all of this blew up.

Another student in his class and him had a serious argument, ended up swearing at each other. I had been trying to get his classmates to keep ignoring him, but apparently, that is quite a task for 8th graders.

Anyway, she pointed out that he misbehaves all the time, is super dis-respectful to me and to his classmates, and nothing happens. Yeah, he gets sent out, but nothing more happens.

Now I'm stuck. I feel like if I explained the situation to her, she might be sympathetic and understanding, but it is not my place to do so.

What do I do? She's right. He's getting away with murder. But should he be?

Should the whole class suffer because he's going through a rough time?

Where does sympathy stop, and tough love begin?

Is he now learning that he can use hard knocks to get sympathy, and further, special treatment and fewer responsibilities?

It is not fair that he makes another student cry.

At the same time, it is not fair that he is going through what he is going through.

But, he can't reason that out when he is not medicated - when the foster home he's in straight up told him he is unwanted, and won't give him his medication.

So what do I do?

The bell rang, and I was left pondering all these questions, and near tears.

I couldn't wrap my mind around where to stand on the continuum between tough love and sympathy.

If you know me, you must know that tough love is not my forte, and that I err on the side of sympathy...

Anyway, at that moment, I get this tweet from Shaq "Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

Made me think even more...

What are your thoughts? Advice appreciated.

Oh, and on a lighter note, I learned a new term from my 6th graders.

"Eye raper." No, it is not someone who engages in forced sexual conduct with someone else's eye. It is someone who looks at someone intensely, creepily, and inappropriately.

And I was too busy trying to get them to stop being appropriate to tell them that the correct term is probably "Eye rapist."

Lawd. What goes on? These kids are 11-12 years old! They shouldn't be eye-raping anyone! Eww!