The new leaf is the celebration of bizarre American holidays. Today, January 24th, is National Eskimo Pie Patent Day. After tonight's game, Ous is going to come over and he, Danielle, and I are going to eat Eskimo Pies. Seems appropriate and delicious. I am pretty pumped. I am going to try to make up for the fact that I didn't start this one day sooner, which would have afforded me the luxury of celebrating both "National Handwriting Day" and "National Measure Your Foot Day," all on my sweet grandmother's 70 th birthday. I guess I kinda celebrated the foot measurement day about a month ago. I was curious about whether or not the thing that people say is true, that your foot is the same length as your arm from your elbow to your wrist. Ous has really long arms, and his feet aren't that big (well, compared to Shaq), so I thought he'd be an exception. Turns out, no. In a strange turn of events involving holding his size 16 shoe up to his forearm, we learned that even if you have a wingspan of 7 feet and 3 inches, the rule is still in full effect.
The old activity that I am going to bring back starting tonight? That would be celebrating celebrity birthdays, particularly obscure ones. Today's celeb's are Neil Diamond and John Belushi. I can scarcely think of a better pair. Well, there were some this summer, like Martha Stewart and James Hetfield… I think Hulk Hogan's birthday was the most brutal, as far as getting hammered is concerned, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, for today's celebration, I'm thinking that it might be appropriate to sing a little Sweet Caroline and perhaps watch Animal House… Or maybe we'll throw in Saving Silverman and eat a Cheezeborger. There are so many phenomenal options!
Alright… Before a whole month passes by without me blogging this, I need to share a little story. Let's take a time trip back to December 28th, 2006. The place: Can's. Can's is in my top five favorite bars in Milwaukee, of what I have experienced so far. Great music, ample space, interesting mix of patrons. Known for its unusual service of beer in a can (hence the name). The reason for the trip??? Efren Ramirez was DJing 80s music all night. Plus, they had $2 or $3 martini's. Who is Efren Ramirez? You probably know him as Pedro from the amazing movie Napoleon Dynamite. What you probably don't know is that he has a twin brother… But we'll get back to him momentarily.
The night started out with Danielle and I finding a superb parking spot just across the street, right by good ol' Vitucci's. Jackpot! We then went in, and had a few issues with people walking around the bar as though they are mute linebackers – slamming into people and not apologizing or saying excuse me or anything. As a semi-small individual, this drives me nuts! But once I had a drink in my hand (ok, I'll be honest… once I had my 2nd drink in my hand), I was no longer too upset. Funny how that works, no?
The next thing after getting drinks was to secure a good spot with a line of sight for me to Efren. I'm sorry to say that it is not usually a priority in crowded situations to get a good line of sight for Danielle, because that is generally a lost cause. Let's be honest. She's 4'11". She is used to not seeing much. Or maybe she sees a whole lot of interesting things that we miss? Who knows. Anyway, I made it my goal initially to take a picture of Mr. Ramirez so that he was looking our direction, and so that his image was also simultaneously on the flat screens. Another charming thing about Cans is that they always have a ridiculous movie on their tv's. I think the time before last I was there, I enjoyed Top Gun while listening to Run DMC and drinking a vanilla vodka and sprite (yum!). What more can you ask for?
Well, I got a couple good shots, as you can see!
Then Efren introduced us (as a crowd) to his twin brother, Carlos. Carlos (whose hat I covet) eventually made his way over to Danielle and I. He really liked Danielle. We didn't exactly capture it in a photo, but he definitely kissed both of us (on the cheek, of course. We're ladies!)
Throughout the night, Efren was hysterical. He was thanking the crowd for voting for him. He was quoting the movie (particularly the part where Napoleon asks if the chickens have large talons...) and he has an impressive Napoleon impression! (impressive impression? Ha. Absurd!).
Then Nicole (my beloved friend who can take credit for my hair!) and her boss and friend Carrie arrived. That is where it got absurd. We had been talking to this douchebag who kinda latched on to me and actually pissed me off. He implied that I was hammered, which is why I thought that Pedro's twin was Pedro's twin. Ass clown. Look at them! Plus, he was lame. The only things he had to say were lame. But apparently, it was Danielle who really got the short end of the stick (ha! I am cracking myself up!). The guy, who was a friend of the guy who was trying to talk to me, that was talking to her (who was, I must mention, wearing a tie. To Can's. Brut brut!) was apparently one hundred times more lame, and was very disappointed when she declined his invitation to a wine tasting party. Anyway, Nicole and Carrie kinda rescued us, but only a little. Shots were bought. It was the Tequila that took me over the edge, for sure.
As we always do, Nicole, Danielle and I (and in this case, Carrie too!), made a new friend. No, he had neither a grill nor a bike chain for a necklace. What did this man have that made him special you ask? Moves like I wouldn't believe. He could dance like nobody's business. AND, to make it all the better, he was sporting a headband/bandana thing in the style of karate kid. My favorite of his moves was when he lifted his leg off the ground with his arms, and proceeded to play air guitar on it. And if I am not mistaken, he also picked both Nicole and I off the ground in his antics. We naturally had to take a picture with this stunner!
We capped off the night parting ways with Nicole and Carrie. Nicole was hammered. She ran into a friend from childhood, gave him a huge hug, was very excited to see him and exclaimed in happiness… Then said "How do I know you again?" Too funny.
Then, after bidding Nicole and Carrie adieu, Danielle and I started our short walk across the street. On the way, a couple men of Hispanic origin called to us. I thought they were friends with Carlos (whose hat I was trying to obtain), and so I turned around and talked to them. They asked for my number, and I denied (who is proud of me? I have been so good lately about this!) him, but took his number. When he gave it to me, I asked his name, and then let out another joke in poor taste that was only appreciated by Danielle. He told me his name was Mike, and as I was entering "Mike from aosigfhor" into my phone (that is a rough estimation of what it actually said), I said "yes, that is what I would've guessed." He had a very clear accent. And I am not racist, or trying to promote stereotypes… At least Danielle thought it was funny. The guys didn't even catch it! Silly boys and their inability to focus!
Anyway, end of story. We went home, whilst I sent a bunch of absurd text messages (and one really long facebook message) to poor Ous, who always seems to be the target for such communications. I don't know why he puts up with me!
Stay tuned for stories of a going away party (which, coincidentally includes another story of me obtaining a Mexican man's number), and a holiday white elephant party, and maybe even pictures of tonight's Eskimo pie celebration!
Then, after bidding Nicole and Carrie adieu, Danielle and I started our short walk across the street. On the way, a couple men of Hispanic origin called to us. I thought they were friends with Carlos (whose hat I was trying to obtain), and so I turned around and talked to them. They asked for my number, and I denied (who is proud of me? I have been so good lately about this!) him, but took his number. When he gave it to me, I asked his name, and then let out another joke in poor taste that was only appreciated by Danielle. He told me his name was Mike, and as I was entering "Mike from aosigfhor" into my phone (that is a rough estimation of what it actually said), I said "yes, that is what I would've guessed." He had a very clear accent. And I am not racist, or trying to promote stereotypes… At least Danielle thought it was funny. The guys didn't even catch it! Silly boys and their inability to focus!
Anyway, end of story. We went home, whilst I sent a bunch of absurd text messages (and one really long facebook message) to poor Ous, who always seems to be the target for such communications. I don't know why he puts up with me!
Stay tuned for stories of a going away party (which, coincidentally includes another story of me obtaining a Mexican man's number), and a holiday white elephant party, and maybe even pictures of tonight's Eskimo pie celebration!
No comments:
Post a Comment