Brut brut!: Who let the dogs out?

Here's another oldie but goody from my myspace blog. There's an update at the end, after the **'s.

Disclaimer: This is one of those nights where two glasses of wine (and no, Jamie, not the glasses from the night of the ACF show that are gallons large, but normal-sized glasses!) have made me squiffy (and not just ready to sleep as planned), so excuse any side effects of non-entire-sobriety. Wait, what?

Oh, and also, I want to use this public forum to thank my friends for being my friends and being amazing people. Madisonians - some of you are making me feel so missed, it's not even funny. Like, according to y'all, how is Madison even still functioning? And Milwaukeeans... I haven't seen most of you. Yet. Tomorrow we're tailgating, though... I have no intention of going to the game... But I have to say that in the last couple days, laughing with Lers at the most absurd things have been exactly what the doctor ordered... SO that too. And D... We've both been crabby and stressed and on emotional roller coasters.. But when we're pulled together (such as when our apt reached new heights), it's the best.

More or less, I love you all!

Alright, this story is over a week old, so I know that half the people that actually read my blog have heard it in person, which I guarantee is better than reading the written word... But hey, some of you just don't talk to me in person or on the phone enough. I guess this is your lesson!
So yeah...

So shortly (not a pun making fun of D's height) after we moved in, we didn't really have a place to eat, or food to eat. So Danielle and I went to Wendy's and brought food to one of the nice common tables overlooking the lobby. We are sitting and quietly enjoying our meal and the atmosphere of our fancy ass living quarters, when two people are at the elevators and yell to us "Are y'all packer fans?"

I explain that Danielle is a Bear fan, that I don't care about NFL football, and then say that my dad is a Packer fan.

Then the lady (there is a lady and man in this story) says "well, let's show them this, they will think it is cute." We meet about halfway between the table D and I were eating at and the elevator, and she shows me this dog that is wearing a Packer jersey. If you squeeze it's hand, it sings "Who Let the Dogs Out?". Could this be any cooler? The answer, as it turns out, is yes.
They don't just have one electronic stuffed dog with them, but two. The second dog trumps the first like you wouldn't believe. It is Humphrey the Humping Dog. A chihuahua that humps whatever you hook him too. It's so creepy. It moans and climaxes and shit.

Anyway, so these people show us the two dogs and the awesome things that they do (i.e., singing "Who let the dogs out" and humping things), and they say... "We will give them to you for $10. We need gas."

Well, I think that this story alone is worth ten damn dollars, so I fork it over. They tell me that my dad will love the "who let the dogs out" dog. I just want to tell people that I was solicited to buy battery-operated pets in my goddamn apartment, so I don't even care. Plus, I have needed gas money before, so I kinda understand. And, let's not forget that I am a freaking sucker. Just sayin'!

Anyway, so that was that. For the low low price of $10, Danielle's and my family in the 213 has nearly doubled. However, our lease only allows two cats, and no dogs, so we have to do away with such pets.

Worry not. The "Who let the dogs out" Green Bay Packers dog is going to DB, who helped us move. He doesn't even know what he is in for!

Again, I say worry not. If you want Humphrey the Humping Chihuahua (and who wouldn't), all you have to do is visit our apartment. Every visitor is gonna fill out a damn raffle thing, and at some pre-determined (Danielle and I need to do the pre-determining, and fast, because peeps is comin' tomorrow) point, we will draw a name of who is gonna take Humphrey home. The more times you visit, the more entries you get. No, we are not desparate for guests... We just love fun and prizes, and we think Humphrey is a good one.

Oh, and if you wanted an update... I've run into the lady who sold me the dog several times, and nearly every time, she asks me if the people I bought them for liked them.

Also, the dog situation helped in our favor (already worth more than $10!)... Those of you who know me, know that in the summer time, I wear some pretty short shorts. When I am just wandering my apartment, this doesn't even occur to me. Well, as it turns out, I was wearing some pretty short shorts the other day when D and I went to the cyber lounge, and we encountered a man with braids, the ends of which were in curlers. He was speaking volumes about my short "Dookie shorts" and talking about what he looks like in dookie shorts, and was basically checking me out as though I was a statue or something unable to think or realize that he was being such a vulture. Anyway, the elevator opens, and my BFF was like "Hey, leave those girls alone, they're my friends! They bought the dogs."

So yes. For the low low price of ten dollars I get the following....
1. A gift to give to Bolin, who helped us move.
2. A hilarious story to tell.
3. Protection from vultures in curlers that live in my apartment
4. New friendship
5. The chance to offer a prize to visitors
6. A gift that just seems to keep on giving.
Can you think of a better way to spend $10?

Well, I had a couple glasses of wine earlier, while framing prints, so I think I am going to go to bed. I hope that I was able to impart this story in an amply humorous way... I guess I will see how the comments roll! It might be a "you had to be there" type of thing... But perhaps the pictures below will help!

And P.S. I am pretty sure that not ALL of my blogs will contain some sort of mushy shout out. I just need to adjust, you dig?

P.P.S. Pharrell is on MTV right now, and I still have a crush on him. He's still in my top five. Swoop swoop! Brut Brut! (Yes, Lers, strong U).

*************

Update: LL won Humphrey. It was glorious. Check out the pics!

Here's us presenting Humphrey to LL....