This may be my last blog... Ever!

Ok, in all likelihood, it's not.... But it still will be a miracle if I survive this weekend.

You know how I said it's birthday season? Well, that is about to get out of control.

Friday night is Broseph's birthday. He's been all over my blogs. You know him, you love him. That will be the warmup for the weekend, seriously!

Saturday is when the proverbial shit hits the proverbial fan.

First on the schedule of birthday celebration is Lers' party. If you remember from last year, her party ended up having a blizzard, we ended up vulching some other people's buffet a Victor's, and I went home the next day with no credit card of whish to speak. Brutalities.

Her birthday is starting with a dinner, and then moving on to Zim's. Always an interesting time.

From there, we have the Fred (remember, celebrating "No Beard Day with him ended up with me waking up wearing 7 bandaids), Tristan, and the Raccoon Whisperer's (from the wifebeater bar crawl and various other posts, such as the one where he got his name!) group birthday party. I had been under the impression that this particular birthday was actually next weekend, but evidentally (perhaps because I am an illiterate moron?), I was incorrect. Fiff.

This makes me a little nervous. First of all, I am likely to arrive there hammered. Friends of Lers like to order shots to the dinner table. And, well, it's Lers! Trouble.

Then, there's the fact that Fred has a propensity to make it rain. And, Troy is going to be there. The last time we went out was the wifebeater bar crawl, I think (it's been too long, whenever it was!), but I will never forget (or entirely remember) the random Wednesday night that he and I had approximately 25 martinis between the two of us. Yikes. Should be absurd. My backup camera battery is charging. (I am now entirely optimistic about having lost or possibly just given away my battery on NYE, since now I have two! The camera battery situation will come into play again later in this blog) =)

At least the Raccoon Whisperer will have my best interests in mind. Although, I do hope that I get drunk texts from him later that say things along the lines of "Before it was my esophagus, now let go." or "You need a man with sensitivity." Hilarious.

Anyway, after celebrating with those three joksters, it's time to move on to Decibel, of course, where the remaining two birthday boys will be, as well as another party. Yikes.

One of the birthdays at Decibel is that of Parker, one of the amazing bartenders at Decibel that always takes care of us, and dresses up absurdly with Shawn on Tuesdays - remember the moustaches? 80s wigs?

What concerns me about this particular gent's birthday celebration is that on the invite, it said something about drinking our faces off, or drinking until we black out, or something to that effect being on the agenda. We'll see if I even still have a face when I get to Decibel!

The other birthday that will be celebrated is that of Marcellus, who I met that ridiculous night that I met Devin Harris (the night before Denim night!) He's a goofass. That's all that needs to be said!

And finally, Khary, who you may remember as the crazy guy who tried to snort the shot on the aforementioned wifebeater bar crawl, or the guy who was making it rain for LL on Valentine's Day (her birthday), is having a party at Decibel on Saturday as well. Not sure why. Perhaps because it is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day? Or maybe he wants to celebrate Dakota Fanning's birthday? That's creepy. I'll go with Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day.

So yeah, Saturday might kill us. I'm considering writing my will now, and saying my final goodbyes.

Anyway, I have great news! I am finally in a good mood.

Mamalicious got great news from the doctor on Tuesday. They got all the cancer, and she will most likely only have to do chemo, not radiation too. That'll make her healing process faster and smoother.

So we went out Tuesday night, and I was just so happy. I felt like I was finally myself again. Like I didn't have to be all weird whenever someone would ask me how I am doing.

It was so bizarre. Smiling felt weird. I know I never completely stopped smiling and laughing, but I don't know... I don't know if I was only half smiling, or only smiling half as much as I normally do, but it just felt weird!

And apparently, people who've not known me long could tell. Not that it felt weird, but that there was a difference in my smile. DJ Jem told LL that I was especially smiley that night. She was like, "No, Mandelicious is back to normal!"

And that felt great!

Although I hesitate to believe that "normal" was an appropriate word to describe me, haha.

So Tuesday was nice and relaxed, to begin with. Seemed like a normal night.

We began the hug/hello tour, and found the fatboyz (minus Sye Young, who was spinning) with Dustin in VIP.

HAD to get a picture of that....

Left to right.... DJ Jem, LL, DJ Streetz/DJ Street Treatz, me, Dustin, Ella? Not sure about her name.

Next we got a shot of Jem and LL.

SO CUTE!

Anyway, shortly after, we went back to wandering around.... Ran into Hen, hadn't seen him in awhile...

Next thing I know, just after doing a shot to celebrate mint chocolate day (it was delicious), we realize that Rasheed Wallace is in the club. That was exciting, even though I have a tendency to dislike him (and all Pistons).

Then, suddenly, shots started showing up like crazy. I think I did about four in one minute. I didn't even know who they were coming from!

Next thing I know, this guy Rich who I had met several times before was there, and Joe from Murphy's had been wearing his watch. Joe gave it back to him, and I realized that it was diamond-encrusted and that the face was as large as a dinner plate, so I asked if I could try it on.

He handed it over, and I put it on. I think it weighed as much as Danielle does. I wanted to take a picture, but we had just tried to take a picture of the two of us, twice, and took video instead (which I haven't watched yet, but I am sure are completely moronic, since we are sitting there looking like we are waiting for our picture to be taken), so my battery was dead. No picture taking ability.

I expressed mild sadness about the lack of ability to document me with such a watch, and Rich just says "Just keep it for now, until Thursday. I have another one at home. You can give this one back at Cush.

And that is how I wound up wearing this watch for the rest of the night, which was very long.

I'll see if I can get a picture of Rich and I with the watch tonight.

What happens next is open to interpretation.

One could say that we went home, and then the next morning woke up at five to all meet at Ma Fisher's to have a nice, early breakfast. That's my account, if I take my mom's habit of stretching the truth in my blog....

Or there's the truth...

Anyway, because of the intense amount of shots all at once, I definitely needed some food and time to sober up after Decibel. That meant Ma Fischer's.

So LL, Paul, and I are sitting at Ma's, eating some food, when suddenly we noticed a news van pull up. We joked about how we were going to be on the news.

Well, once again, joke comes true. Stephanie Brown of CBS 58 came right on in to ask if it'd be alright to interview us about voting for the 5am news. Live.

I decided that maybe it wouldn't be the best idea to have myself tipsy on the news three hours before I had to be at work.

I don't know why LL refused....

But Paul was all in.

So Steph Brown told us to wait a few minutes, and I thought to myself, "Who would be awake at such an absurd hour?"

The answer? My mom, and Lynch, my co-worker.

So I texted them and asked.

Jackpot!

They sure were!

Lynch asked if I was out of my mind. Mom dvr'ed the interview.

We were discussing different ways to make the interview hilarious. I suggested Paul saying that he didn't know what to do with his hands and to continuously raise them up, in the style of Ricky Bobby.

He thought that it would be amusing to eat fries from this ridiculous bowl of them, and drink water straight from the pitcher.

He did not take my advice, or his. Once he started talking, he was saying things that actually seem intelligent. I don't even know what he said. I stopped paying attention when I realized that it was not funny.

Instead, I texted Lynch and asked him if he thought that I should put my foot on Paul's chest, so that a random stiletto toe would pop into the frame. Since Paul wasn't being funny, I thought I'd take matters into my own hands. Or feet.

Lynch advised against it, so I didn't do it. I always listen to him. He's my school dad!

P.S. Paul was wearing the watch during this absurdity. It remains to be seen whether the watch is in the newscast.

Anyway, right after he was done, he called some old lady a liar (she pretended like she was mute to get out of being interviewed, and then started talking later), and it was time to go home and to bed. I slept about a half hour before going to school. Yikes. Fiff.

Mom said that Paul did a good job playing sober, but that he sounded like Elmer Fudd when he was talking about terrorists (or should I say tewwowists?).

Here's Mamalicious' account of the event:

At 4:30 a.m. this morning I was watching a ridiculous infomercial (which I will blog about after further investigation) and I hear my cell phone beep(I have a message!) What- who texts @ this hour? Mandie! That's who! She tells me to catch the channel 58 news @ 5 a.m. because the camera crew is @ Ma Fischer's and they are going to interview her friend Paul (whom she and L.L. are STILL out with from last night) I text her back (just o.k. because I'm not really fast at that sort of thing) She calls me, amazed that I am awake! (As I have mentioned before, I don't sleep for very long periods of time, especially since I've done nothing to tire myself out as of late)! I set the DVR- since they are hammered and this should remain on tape for further enjoyment!

I was not disappointed! While I've not met Paul in person, having been a bartender and a partier for years, I'm pretty good at spotting people playing the sober roll! He was doing soooo well, until- he had to say terrorist. Yes, he said it like Elmer Fudd would have! Marv and I cracked up! Mandie and L.L. must have noticed it too, because Paul's eyes moved across the table and he got a smile on his face and he looked like he was going to laugh! I'll watch it again! Man I love that DVR!

It's great to be laughing that early in the morning! Can't wait to meet Paul! He appears to be my kind of guy! A kindred spirit so to speak!

Hi-larious.

I can't wait to watch it!

Well, I should probably eat something before I get ready to go out.

To those who are subscribed to these blogs.... Sorry that I am blogging so much. On one hand, I am doing well with my New Year's resolution to blog more, but on the other, I realize that these bad boys are pretty damn long, and can steal your life (haha RW). But now that my mom is only sitting around and healing, she doesn't have much to do.

I suggested that she take whatever it is that is the osteoporosis medicine that Boniva competes with...

Have you ever seen those Boniva commercials? Sally Field is the spokeswoman, and she talks about how Boniva is wonderful because you only have to take it once a month.

She talks about how much time she saves, because she doesn't have to take a pill ONCE A WEEK! It actually shows a calendar, with a pill on each week, and Sally Field swipes her hand across it to wipe away all the pills.

What in hell?

Am I the only person who just opens the gullet and takes it down when it's pill time? Is there a long ordeal involved for some people that I don't know about? How much time is really being saved? I can't wait for the testimonials that are sure to follow.... "Now that I take Boniva instead of that once a week business, I learned Mandarin in my spare time I saved!" Come on, people!

Alright, that's enough. Cliff's Notes version of that point is that my mom has spare time, and I am trying to entertain her with blogs. And lift her spirits, which are already higher than I can even understand, which helps me deal.

Alright. Time for more adventures! Hopefully I'll make it through Saturday to blog again!

"I know what we're doing tonight."

Before I get to the pictures, and all that fun stuff for this blog, I am going to kind of revisit one of my first blogs ever, which explained my deep love for Shaquille O'Neal. Many people (especially those who know that I am generally attracted to large or muscular, and usually athletic black men) mistakenly think that I am physically attracted to him or have some sort of a crush on him. Not so! He does look pretty fly from time to time, but that is not the deal. It's that he loves kids, and doesn't take life seriously. I could definitely go on and on about this, but I am going to spare you that, and instead, just give ya the link to an unbiased source that backs me up.

Enjoy!

So apparently my life is fairly ridiculous. Here's another blog that is largely of random absurdity.

So last time I blogged (or the time before or something), I had a picture of Shawn and Parker in moustaches and aviators.... Well, apparently, this is going to be a Tuesday night thing. I can't wait to see it tomorrow night! Here's this past Tuesday, where they were 80s rockers or something....

The first couple shots are of Shawn juggling shot glasses. =)

And next, we have the two men together, complete with Parker making it rain Jameson in his mouth!

And next we have Alleged Marcus, lookin kinda creepy....

Next we have Mamalicious and I, right before her surgery last week on Valentine's Day.

And later that night, Khary made it rain for LL. There is no wonder why she got hammered within fifteen minutes of arrival at Decibel.

Now we magically skip to Saturday night, when Paul did a really elaborate shot trick.... That's what he does, since he's the Asian Guy who Does Tricks at Decibel.

Since the last pictures weren't too fantastic, I figured I'd throw one in from last week....

Pretty cool, huh?

I don't know how these pictures got put in such a weird order, but we're just going to try to go with it...

So here's another flash back to Thursday, when we gave DJ Streetz his valentine...

So I was walking through the halls at school, and since it's Black History Month, there are posters all over of important figures in Black History (duh).

So of course, there are people like Dr. Martin Luther King, Sojourner Truth, etc.

Then suddenly....

Shaft.

Richard Roundtree? No.

Isaac Hayes?

Not quite.

Shaft.

And his contribution to Black History, or rather his role?

Bad Motha Shut Yo Mouth.

And there you have it close up.

Now we're suddenly at Decibel again on Saturday...

Next is Danielle and I with my cousin, Annette, who came down to hang out. Fun times! I almost wrote that it was "our cousin." I guess my mom would agree, because of the way she talks about Danielle and calls her the responsible daughter!



So yesterday, there was some talk about what was going to go on last night. I didn't have school today, so I wanted to do something fun.

Paul calls, and says "I know what we're doing tonight."

Then I get a text from Shawn, with the similar idea.

VIP Hawaiian party at Jo Cat's.

Seems about right, doesn't it. It was 32 degrees.

Here's me with the other ladies.

This is one of those blogs where the pictures pretty much speak for themselves....

Here's Paul with a snorkeling mask. Just before this picture was taken, someone poured 44 down the spout and he drank it. I am pretty sure that that was what those things were intended for anyway.

Next is Steve and Shawn... As you can see, we had no leis, but rather Mardi Gras beads.

This one is just absurd. I don't think they were ready....

Re-do!

And here is Paul with his one true love, the inflatable Corona bottle.

Here are Shawn and I...

Here's the VIP section.

That's how we roll!

And here's part of the crew, enjoying the coveted VIP section.

And when I say coveted, I mean it. There were fights and everything, due to the haters. Intensity!

This is the lamest blog ever, because my brain is not working. I have almost nothing to say. Thank goodness LL asked me to take lots of pictures since she wasn't going to be there!

Anyway, here's Paul with the love of his life again!

And here's Steve.... Looking quite angelic, of course!

No next we have Shawn, Joe and Paul. Joe looks like he's unconscious, but he's not....

YAY! I made it through a night at Jo Cat's and rememebered it all!

Then the party moved to Decibel, where Shawn had to close the bar...

Here he is "pretending to be asleep."

Paul tried to get me to write on his face, but I felt bad about that idea, so I wrote on his leg instead...

Still going....

And here's my handiwork!

And here's Shawn's handiwork. I think that it's clear that he is hard at work!

Clearly!

Working so hard, he can't even control his own saliva!

See his drool?

I think that's a good note to end this on... I am sure there will be more absurdity soon!

Sorry this was lame. I just don't have much to say tonight!

Not to brag, but...

I am the luckiest person in the United States. Ok, maybe even the Western Hemisphere. Damn, I'll take it all the way.... Go big or go home, right? I am the luckiest girl in the universe!

Yeah, I've had some craptastic things going on in my life, with my mom being sick and whatnot, but seriously....

The best part about it is finding out how AMAZING my friends are.


So I just want to take this time to thank everyone. I'm not going to name names, because I'd feel awful if I cookie-headedly forgot to list someone. But the actions definitely weren't forgotten, so that's what I am going to have the focus be. Actions speak louder than names anyway, right? (A name is a word. Give me a break.)

In no particular order....

So, whether you've given me a hug or several, offered to do anything you can, offered to be there for me, to eat with me, to cook for me, or you've called or texted to check on me, or offered to raise a ton of money and walk 60 miles with me, donated money to that walk, joined the team, or made S'Mores poptarts appear magically on the counter when they were just what I needed, made me laugh, made me smile, watched absurd movies with me, driven me home from eye surgery, given me candy or chocolate, wiped the snot from under my nose while I cried hysterically on you (that was a while ago, but still freaks me out!), or just let me cry in general, watched absurd movies with me, did shots with me, did (and/or dumped) shots for my mom with me, dedicated a soccer game to my mom, made her or sent her a card, suggested to bring her a ham, reminding me how strong my mom and I are, being on the lookout for bandanas, adding her on myspace and showing her encouragement, leaving me comments or sending me emails/messages to show support, told me to hang in there, offered to spend your birthday hanging out in Racine instead of going out and celebrating, offered to go to Racine (or even the Navy Pier Ferris Wheel) with me, joked with me, laughed with me, dealt with my ridiculous crabbiness, moodiness, or lack of patience, as well as my self-centeredness through this....

Oh man, I am sure I am forgetting things.

Anyway, thank you to everyone. I truly feel like I am so blessed to have so many amazing people in my life. I have no idea how I got to be so lucky, but know that I thank God for you all every day! I don't know what I would do without you all!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Hodgepodge of Absurdity.

This blog is going to be really random, and likely long.




I'll begin with a further update on Mamalicious.



I've obviously talked to her every day since the lumpectomy. She has been in great spirits and pretty much hilarious, which is not a surprise.

On the day after, I called and asked her how she was doin', and she said she's Smurfin.



Her skin did turn blue from that operation, and stayed that way a long time. It's fading, though.



So that's a plus.



Finally went down to Ray-town to see her yesterday afternoon. I was on the phone with a friend, discussing my plans for the day, and talking about the fact that my students made her a card, so I felt like even though it was negative a million degrees outside, I felt it was necessary for me to stop and pick up a card, because although I was sure she wouldn't care about having a card or not either way, I thought I'd look like a douchebag walking in with a card from my students, a signed "bartender of the week" card from Shawn, and nothing from me!



So he suggested that I bring her a fruitcake.


I was like, "A fruitcake? You've met my mom."


"That's why it would be funny! You should bring her a ham."


So I decided that yes, indeed, I will bring her a ham.


So I went and got her a card from Walgreens, because I also had to drop off my prescription for eye drops that I will need after my lasik on Wednesday. Then when I got to the Hamptons of the Midwest (Racine, obviously, Duh!), I popped over to the grocery store and bought myself a ham.



Those of you who know me well, know I have a serious issue with the g-store. Least favorite place to be. Usually takes me at least a couple hours to get through. Well, I gotta say, I did it. I went in, went straight to the ham section, grabbed a ham, grabbed a kit kat, and got out.



Well, it didn't go QUITE that smoothly. Almost bought ham product. I thought it was weird that it was perfectly shaped, and that it said it was 35% ham or something, so I walked around a little more and found real hams.



The cashier made fun of me, though.



"Find everything alright?"



"Yep!"



"You got your ham and your kit kat and you're all set?"



Then it occurred to me just how absurd my life really is. (I know... It just now is occurring to me? What?) Who just goes to the grocery store and buys just a ham? That's right, bitches, I do!



So I walk into my mom's house, into the livingroom. Thought the effect would be more dramatic if I had the ham out of the bag, so I did.



Mom says, "She comes bearing ham?!"

And I explain the story to my mom, and in no time, we're laughing so hard we're crying.



She tells me she feels like Hef walking around in her silky pajamas.



So, after dinner, we decided that we'd take a picture of her with the ham in her hef pajamas.








Love it!

So I just got off the phone with her. She went to the doctor today.

News is not good.

She has to have a mastectomy on Thursday. Chemo starts next week, I believe.

Let me just take this opportunity to say that I am really f'ing sick of this roller coaster.

Don't know if you caught it from the last blog, but I am tired of getting these lovely percentages that she's fine, and then seeing her defy the odds again.

"These microcalcifications are not a big deal. 80% of the time, it's nothing."

Just kidding!

"You have cancer. We'll do a lumpectomy though, and after that, we're 90% sure that she will be done with surgery."

And, like I said in the last blog, that's ten whole percent.

And then today, "It's stage two, and we're going to need to do a mastectomy Thursday, and then chemo."

What the hell does stage two even mean?

On the plus side, she's not going to have to worry about lymphadema. She was concerned. Doesn't care much about her boobs, but it'd suck to deal with issues with her arm.

Another plus (always gotta look at the silver lining - I'll quote my mom herself when I say "My luggage is always full, I just don't know where the hell it is." Ever the optimist!), is that if anyone besides Demi Moore can look hot bald, it's my mom. She's such a bad ass. She'll rock a Harley bandana and it'll be just fine. She and I agreed today, though, that she would look stupid if she wore one of those female turbans, so we'll scratch that off the list.

So yeah, I guess right now I am going to ask that if anyone comes across a fly bandana for Mamalicious to rock, please let me know, and we'll work something out for me to get my hands on it or whatnot. And Buddha, I told her you'd probably let her borrow your mullet wig, and she said she'd pass. Maybe I better look up those Star Jones catalogues, haha.

Final positive note for this is that she was talking to the nurse today, who told her that she would be able to discuss reconstructive surgery next week, so she could get one or both done.

Mamalicious' response?

"Supersize me!"

The nurse said, "What letter of the alphabet are we talking about?"

Haha, so yeah. Mamalicious is good. We're some tough broads.

So now this morning, she already got this video in an email to cheer her up this morning, before the appointment, so here I am to cheer her up with a blog afterward.

It's going to be random. It's of a few things, including random pictures I've been taking to keep the New Year's resolution.

So here goes!

One thing I oft make fun of LL for is getting hammered and saying that people are her soulmates. She has a new soulmate just about weekly. We still don't even know the first soulmate's name. Bru-tal.

Anyway, I think this is rubbing off on me, since I've proclaimed two soulmates in the past week!

Here's a picture of the first one.





Are we serious? A fine, naked black man with a great ass chugging Patron straight from the bottle? I don't think I need to say any more.

No, I've never met him, and probably never will. I'm ok with that.... Unless fate brings us together, it'll just be in my dreams. Haha.

We'll get to my second soulmate later.

Anyway, there's no real story to the next picture, either... It's just that when we got to Decibel one night last week or the week before, Shawn and Parker were a pair of moustachioed men, and this is the very reason why I keep my camera in my purse at all times.



Love it.

So yeah.... Leather and Lace night. We went for Shanda's birthday.

We dressed up. I wore my leather-ish pants and a lace shirt and bra. LL wore a cami with lace around the top. There were quite some sights!

I saw men in leather thongs. There was a fetish show on a stage with a professional dominatrix who suddenly shouted "Are there any girls who want to be dominated?"

Fiff.

Two guys asked LL while we were waiting for drinks. Said they had covered a girl in pudding, whipped cream, and angel food cake and had 8 people lick her clean. They asked LL if she wanted to be next.

Oh boy.

Anyway, here are some pictures from the night...



Some guy had walked up to me and asked me if he could call me cat woman. When I told him that he could, he kissed my hand and said "Me fuckin' ow!"

Hilarity.



Let me also say that I know why they call the place the inferno. It's three hundred damn degrees in that place! That'd be why we had the shiniest faces in the United States. We were covered in sweat!

There's LL and Shanda, the birthday girl...

And LL and I once again. This picture was taken by a transsexual we befriended named Nicole. We learned so much from her! She had a lot of insight on the differences between both sexes, because she's been both! Or at least, she'll be able to say that soon!

So yeah, very interesting. Regrettably, I didn't want to take too many pictures, because I didn't want people to think I was just doing it because it was a freak show or something. Even sadder is that Nicole wouldn't take a picture with us, because she doesn't appear in pictures until she is done with her change.

Ok, this blog totally has ADD. Well, I guess ADHD. Danielle tells me that ADD is an outdated name.

SO there's a Thursday night shot at Deep Bar.... Spencer and Seth love soccer moms, and JC loves making weird faces. Perfect! Mamalicious, I appologize that I don't play soccer. I am sure that Spencer and Seth would still love you anyway.

Another great picture from Thursday night depicts Dustin being a scary vulture.

Very scary!

So yeah, that was Thursday.

Friday was Dustin and Drew's Decibel Birthday Soiree. Great times of course!

They had the most hilarious birthday flyer EVER. I think I am going to ask and see if I can get it emailed to me. It's a glove for sure!

And, my favorite DJ, DJ Streetz (or Street Treatz) was there, which was super exciting.

Somehow or another, I ended up in his shoes. No, I did not walk a mile!

And LL, who loves hugs about as much as I do, thought she'd show Streez some love...

RE-DO!

Cute! I wish I knew what he was doing! Haha.

Saturday was LL's birthday celebration. Her actual birthday is Thursday, and we'll likely be going out that night, as long as my surgery and my mom's surgery go well.

So we started out with dinner at Water Buffalo, which was absurd for many reasons. The food, however, was delicious and very reasonably priced!

Here's Danielle, being silly.

And here's LL and I with Dustin at Decibel, of course!

Obviously, my head tilt got a little out of control and took over Dustin's face. Oops!

The next picture, of LL, Danielle, and I, is quite possibly the worst picture ever taken of LL in the history of her life.

It doesn't even look like her! Bru-tality!

Here's LL and Amber, another Decibel regular.... That girl brings out my inner sorority girl! I think I might've even drunkenly screamed with excitement when I saw her, which is just about the most absurd thing ever, since it is WAY out of character for me, and because I am pretty sure we saw her Thursday! Or, if it wasn't Thursday, it was definitely Tuesday at the very longest time ago! Brut swoop!

There's a picture Drew took of the four of us. I think he took it from San Antonio, because it is pretty damn far away! I love how differently all four of us our dressed. I also must add that I am pretty sure I am going to be borrowing Danielle's shirt if I can get myself into it, because it is definitely hot!

Amber definitely went on a picture-taking rampage that night, and we were even taking ridiculous pictures of ourselves in the mirror. If they are blog-worthy, I will be posting those bad boys as soon as she gives me the chance!

That was the last picture I took that night.

It was a great time! Much like Friday, it was a late night.

So that is where the train stops for this story.

For a long ass time, I've been saying that I'm going to blog to explain the dictuary. Here it finally is.

It all started some Wednesday night up in Madison.... We did the Wing Ding Wednesday thing, and the Captain was flowing like a river.

This blog is going to contain some really good looks for LL. In addition to the worst picture ever taken, I also have what might be the most hilarious. Ready?

Lookin good!

And here she is with Mara.

Here's a group shot.... Looks like a slightly different atmosphere than what I've grown used to now at Decibel, doesn't it? Haha.

Apparently, as it often is the case, once just wasn't enough.

After a night of Wings and absurdity, I needed food (shocking, right?!)

So, we decided that it would be best if we went to Sentry to buy ingredients for S'Mores. Clearly!

LL and I had to use the bathroom, and decided it would be a fantastic idea to initial the chores chart for bathroom maintenance at Sentry.

Then we went back to Mara's and made S'Mores in the microwave. If you've never done this, you really need to. Few things (and by few things, I mean a decent amount of things) are as fun as watching the marshmallow expand in the microwave.

This, of course, involved a lot of laughter.

Take a look at Danielle. No, it's not a giant table. She's short, but not that short. She's just sliding on down, due to hysterical laughter. Most likely laughing at LL and I, because we were surfing a tsunami of absurdity (not swagger like Chazz Michael Michaels in Blades of Glory).

I know I was laughing pretty hard at us. So hard that it took me about 49 minutes to eat one S'More, and I definitely had mascara all over my damn face, as you can see.

Obscene. Danielle loves that picture, though, so I had to put it in.

Note my charm bracelet from Mamalicious. If you ever see me out and wearing it, you gotta ask for the story on that one.... But only if you have about an hour and a half to spare!

So LL was hammered, and hilarious.

She was trying to tell us all about how she had just read that the word "ginormous" had been officially added to the dictuary, but she was slurring over her words.

When we called her out on this word-slurring, she said....

"I'm Merriam Fucking Webster. I wrote the fucking dictuary."

Dictuary? Really? Not the dictionary? Oh Lord.

Clearly, I was amused.

Anyway from that day forward, LL and I decided we were going to make a dictuary. She has it with her almost all the time, and it comes in handy. Some people have even gotten pretty gung ho about it, wanting to be quoted in it.

There are two parts.

First part is just what you would expect. It's definitions of words we use.

There are also a couple lists involved, like the list of known vultures, and the list of gloves.

Then, if you turn it over, you have the "fucking psalms section," which is a lot of quotes, either things we've said, or things people have said to us. We think it's hilarious, and many other people seem to agree.

The night wasn't over, so I guess I will just throw in some random pictures from the rest of that night for fun!

There's Danielle in Mara's pants. They fit pretty much perfectly, as you can see!

Mara's roommate Shanda (girl who's birthday was Leather and Lace night) has a young daughter, so here's Jamie wearing Shanda's daughter's tiara!

Lookin good, Jameson!

Of course the laughs continued. And when Danielle laughs, she often loses control of her body and falls onto the floor. The night of Merriam Fucking Webster was no exception.

I take advantage of this whenever possible. If I think her tipping over is a possibility, I won't hesitate to push her over.... And once she's down, I like to mess with her. What are friends for, right?

There I am, attacking her! Poor girl! Then I decided that I needed to play airplane. Obviously! Props to Danielle for being able to hold my big self up! I know I am not big compared to most people, but you've seen Danielle!

And yeah, the laughing continued....

More airplane....

Woooohooooo!

Then, we were under attack by an enormous vulture! Don't forget.... If it has wings and isn't an angel, it's a vulture!

Blurriest picture ever, I know!

Danielle joined in on the tiara fun.... Here she is with Merriam!

Woo! What a night.

Don't forget, if you know of any bandanas, let me know. AND, I am still trying to think of a team name for that 60-mile walk I wanna do in August for Mamalicious, so send me those suggestions!

Alright, time to relax.