Karma is a bee-otch, isn't it Book???

Ah, another old post from myspace... But still brings a smile to my face! ENJOY!

An exerpt from "H to the Izzo" by Jay Z, aka Sean Carter:

"Holla at me...

I do this for my culture

To let 'em know what a nigga look like...when a nigga in a roaster

Show 'em how to move in a room full 'o vultures...
Pay us like you owe us for all the years that you hold us

We can talk, but money talks so talk mo' bucks"

Alright, let me tell you a little story...

Two years ago, when I was living on Prospect Avenue, I went to the Oak Crest (now Lucky's) to visit a "friend" who worked there, with my lovely roommate, Danielle. That night, Danielle was lifted over the head of an enormous bouncer who just couldn't stop talking about how cute Danielle was... And how much she reminded him of his 8-year-old sister, except for Danielle being white.

Fast forward two nights... Danielle and I in line at F'ing Qdoba (which I hate, because I think the food tastes like air) because Taco Bell was closed (wow, must've been a weeknight, I guess) when we hear this voice... "Heeeey, it's you guys!" Hello big bouncer from the Oak Crest. Talk ensues again about how cute little Danielle is... And then he asks... "Hey, do you guys know who Booker Stanley is?"

For those of you who aren't Badgers, Badger Alumni, or followers of Big 10 football, Booker Stanley was a running back for the Badgers when I went to UW... And he was pretty decent. To be honest, though... The best thing about him was his name. Danielle loved it. At every game we went to, whenever the announcer said his name, Danielle would say "I love his name."

Sooo... Me being who I am, and often not realizing that I am about to embarass Danielle (ha, happens all the damn time... Sorry, girl!). So when big bouncer dude (or, from here on out, BBD, if you will, because his name didn't stick with me, and he really isn't incredibly important to the story) asks if we know who he is, I'm all like "Ohhhhh yeah! Danielle LOVES his name!" Of course I didn't think that the punk ass a few people in front of me who is my height, and about as wide as he is tall is the man about whom we were speaking. BBD yells "Book! Hey Book! Come here!" and this cat just waddles over with the biggest fake diamond I have ever seen in his ear. BBD says to "Book," "Dude, these girls love your name."

Now, I don't know about where y'all are from... But to me, that is not license to hit on people. I don't know where Book is from, either, but apparently that is a direct translation over thurr.
So Book's talking to us, and he's like "Hey, can you do me a favor? I am kinda low on money, so do you think I could borrow money for the 7 cheese nachos?"

Oh really, Book??? "Psh. Look at that rock in your ear. You have money. I haven't worked in a couple weeks because I broke my foot. (I was still wearing that sexy boot... Must've been what attracted him to me!) Besides, when am I going to see you again?"

"I get paid $9,000 in two weeks. I will buy you nachos then."

"Umm, I don't think so."

"Well, I have all but fifty cents of it. I will let you cut in line so you can get out of here sooner if you give me the fifty cents."

Alright, fine... That seems alright, right? I mean seriously... Fifty cents? Who cares.

So we go up by where Book was standing in line, and he's talking to me about all types of stuff. Stuff like my invisalign... During that conversation, he informed me that he has a gap between his two front teeth. I wish I had a pic of him cheesing for you, because the gap is like a half inch wide. Seriously. Thanks, Book, so glad you've pointed that out.

Then he tries to get me to go home with him. Says that he lives closer, and that way I wouldn't have to walk so far with the broken foot.

After I decline, he actually offered to carry me home, over his shoulder, to where he stayed. Seriously, Book, are you that lonely? Are you going to club me over the head like a caveman anyway if I say no? (Yeah, the irony of that statement is coming.... hang on to your seats).

Anyway, so he figures out finally that I am not going home with him, and decides we should order, and then he will, and then he'll pay and go home. Danielle and I order our food to eat in Qdoba, and Book orders his to go. I jokingly say "You better give me my change!" Thinking it would be absurd for him to leave with my change.

Well... Turns out no. Being the running back he was, Booker Stanley took his 7 cheese nachos and ran right out of Qdoba. With my $3. Fucker!

How does all of this tie in to today, and to Karma? Let me give you an excerpt from a story from Channel3000.com...

Headline: Ex-Badger Booker Stanley Found Guilty on Four Counts. Three counts were felonies.

Story:
MADISON, Wis. -- The Dane County Court issued a guilty verdict for former Badger football player Booker Stanley.
Stanley was found guilty on four counts -- three felonies -- including second-degree sexual assault, recklessly endangering safety and bail jumping.
The verdict stems from a Dec. 21 incident involving an ex-girlfriend.
No sentencing date has been set. Stanley could spend more than 50 years in prison, WISC-TV reported.

WOW! As the title says, isn't Karma a Beee-yotch? I am tempted to write the judge a letter, and say that he should be considering adding an hour or so to that 50-year sentence because of his theft of three dollars from a girl who was limping around Madison with an orthopedic boot on. I hate seeing my Badgers brought down by assclowns such as this chump, and Nick Davis, and the like... But this brought a giggle to my lips. And that's real.