6.28.07-7.8.07

Yes yes, the dates in the title are the dates of Summerfest.

6.28.07

We kicked it off by going to see Jack's Mannequin. That was an adventure.

Danielle and I had decided that we were going to go to Summerfest in search of new boyfriends. We joked about it the whole time, on the way there and such.

As it turned out, we were not in the proper age bracket for that. It seemed that everyone at Summerfest that day was either high-school aged, or middle aged. Granted, the two acts we saw might not be the perfect place to meet people our age, but still....

We got there a little earlier than we needed to, so we saw REO Speedwagon first. Oh man, the crowd for that was amazing.... Lots and lots of denim! There was even some head-to-toe denim, which doesn't shock me.

After that, we made our way across the park to see Jack's. Entirely different crowd. Teeny-boppers.

Apparently, however, we fit in just fine. How absurd is that?

People were guessing our ages at 16. Awesome.

We also had the privilege of meeting a very drunk gent who was in search of a guy with blonde curly hair and an asian girl with... as he said... asian hair. He appreciated our help in trying to locate such individuals, so much so that he kept telling us how awesome we were, gave Danielle his phone number, and even asked us when we are going to go party with him in 'Tosa.

Ummm.... never? Tosa? Really? Haha.

Then we left the concert and took the bus back to the Marquette campus.

At midnight that night, Danielle turned 25. I was only days away from my 25 year and 10 month birthday (which I did not celebrate, for the record.... or maybe I did, inadvertantly!).

We were going to stop at Murphy's so Danielle could take a birthday shot, but we decided instead to go home, because Danielle had to work or go to class or something the next morning.

6.29.07

During the day, whilst Danielle toiled, I mostly laid around, and did a little bit of coordinating. Then she came home, and LL came over. Meanwhile, Mara was recovering from a root canal, which is why she Darryled out, and Derek and Jamie were en route to Murphy's from Madison.

The three of us went to Jimmy John's, then to Murphy's. Immediately when we walked in, I saw Derek and Jamie seated at the bar. Danielle, however, who was not expecting to run into anyone she knew, did not notice them, and walked straight up to Buddha at the bar and ordered up.

It was totally hilarious when Danielle finally noticed them.

We all got drinks, drank them, and then got more to go on the bus. We had Buddha take a picture of the five of us....

LL, then Derek, then Danielle, then me, then Jamie. Fun times! We made Danielle do her shot alone. Sorry, Danielle. We'll do more with you later. =)

Look at her take it down like the champ she is!

Time to get on the bus! It's always fun to take alcohol on school buses. Don't tell my students, though.

LL apparently also finds taking pickles onto said buses enjoyable!

Off to Summerfest! Part of my present to Danielle was getting her tickets to see Def Leppard, Foreigner, and Journey, and then organizing for some friends to meet up with us as a surprise. Yes, D and I love our 80's music.

One thing I was known to do for awhile whilst in college was to put my hair absurd ways and then ask Danielle whether she'd still be my friend if I wore my hair like that all the time.

Bless her heart, she said yes no matter what!

Well, far be it from me to take a picture of something funny.... Check out her hair here! And yes, of course I'd be her friend!

Hot.

At that moment, Danielle may have had the most stylish hair in the Marcus Ampitheater, but as far as overall personal style, I am sad to say that she was not quite at the top.

But who could be with this man around?

Let me tell you, he was a treat to watch. Dancing around, stripping, and middle-aged women were putting dollars in his pants. It was amazing. He was just straight-up belig.

We got a lot of entertainment out of watching him.

We also got a lot of entertainment out of a pair of men who loved Foreigner like no one else ever could, if I had to guess.

These two men, shown below, pounded their fists to the beat of every single song. They even knew when to pause during little points of flair during the songs. It was enthralling.

Unfortunately, I did not catch them at their best. I was trying to be at least a little incognito (not my strength). As we would continue to drink from our Coke's (that we put a "little" Sailor Jerry in, thanks to putting my flask {which I no longer have} in LL's ample bosom), I would definitel get the courage to go ask them to pose with me, but I'll explain why that never came to be.

As you can see, before long, our sexy denim buddy removed the shirt from his head and really stepped the dancing up a notch....

Holla!

Anyway, that is where the pictures stopped. This is due to the fact that a Summerfest rent-a-cop came sprinting over after that last picture to inform me that I needed to put my camera away. I thought it was funny, because I was making zero attempts to take pictures of the stage, just pictures of the goof-asses in the crowd. Oh well.

On the way home, on the bus, there was quite an interesting man sitting in front of me.

He reminded me, mostly in looks, but a little in personality, of Patrick, who I worked with at Photo Express, back in the day. His personality was a little bit more bizarre.

He had quite a bit to say to me.

He talked about how I must get hit on a lot. Just kept talkin'.

Then he went on to say that I looked like someone. Then he said...

"You look like... the most beautiful woman in the world."

This was hilarious. Cracked me right up.

After a short time, he decided that he had figured out who it was that I resembled.

Kendra from the Girls Next Door. What???

For the record, I definitely do not resemble such a woman.

Anyway, after that absurdity, we got back to Murphy's.

Shots were in order, of course, as were Captain and Coke's and Diet Cokes.

And when shots and drinks are a-flowin', people tend to show extra love... But I think that these three love eachother anyway!

Aren't Danielle, Jamie, and Derek cute?

Since we were at Murphy's, and the photo hunt machine was all taken up, we decided to play darts. In the midst of this dart action, we spied our former neighbor Nate Dogg. He is the gentleman whose party we attended the night we "lost" our power. Nate Dogg was out celebrating one of his roommate's 21st birthdays. I guess that is what happens when you hang out at college bars, haha.

Anyway, Nate Dogg was a vast contributor to the idea of getting Danielle drunk, and as such, he purchased many a shot for her, as well as the rest of us. Here is one such shot, which I remember was a delicious Orange Grey Goose. Yummy.

As you can see, LL, Danielle, Jamie and I enjoyed such a shot. Jamie, however, did not enjoy it long-term, as she thinks that that is what set her over the edge and made her vom. Bru-tal!

As alcohol often does, the shot must've improved Danielle's dart game, as she got a bullseye. Look at how proud she is!

It was around this point of the night that we started to miss Mara again, who was watching infomercials and sending out hilarious texts, possibly a partial result from the medication she was on to ease her pain.

We didn't want her to feel left out, so Danielle and I thought we'd send her some messages detailing how she was missed....

...because there just aren't enough pictures of me texting.... By the way, last month's count for texts was something like 12, 953. I think part of the increase was that I have been texting google a lot.

Did you know that you can do that? You can get sports scores, movie times, phone numbers, reverse-looking up of phone numbers, definitions of words, etc. I even used it to find out how old Mick Jagger was so that I could make fun of a certain old man I know (a friend to all raccoons), who happens to be his twin. Haha.

All you have to do is text whatever it is you need to know, such as the movie name and zip code, or "weather" and your zip code, or "Definition of ___," or "How old is Mick Jagger?" to GOOGLE (466453) and the answer comes right back! I've been abusing the hell out of this, and it has been glorious. Thank goodness for unlimited texting! Haha.

Anyway, back to the story.

Remember the Foreigner-lovin' fist-pumpers? They were very inspiring to us, so LL and I tried to emulate them.

As you can see, LL and I had an issue with the serious face.

Apparently, I smile a lot. Who knew?

Last night, which was "Absurdity Day," (Which, for the record, is one of my favorite holidays) as well as my grandpa's 69th birthday (Yeah, mom, I asked him the other day. We were both wrong.), I was told several times to stop smiling. I even had a certain someone grabbing my face to try to stop the smiles (you asked for this, Kevin!). Do I really smile an abnormal amount?

I guess since a lot of people tell me that, even at school, it must be the case. I dunno. I got nothin'.

Anyway, I finally have a picture to put a face to the name. What name, you ask? Nate Dogg. No, obviously not Nate Dogg of the 213, as you can see. But here's our former neighbor with the birfday girl!

As often occurs when I have my camera out, we decided to take a couple more pictures. The first is of Jamie and LL. Awww....

And next is a mildly terrifying picture of Nate Dogg. Bru-tal.

I don't remember clearly, but if I had to guess, he took a page from Buddha's book.... Where if you ask him to take a picture for you, he first takes one of himself.

Here's the self-portrait....

And next we have the group picture that I believe illicited the above heinosity.

We have Jamie, then Danielle, then Derek, then LL, then me. Holla!

Moments after this picture, we had an intensely pleasant surprise. Jamil!

Oh Jamil. He is such a glove. Always smiling! Maybe that's why I like him so much.... We both smile a lot. Something in common! We also are exactly the same height.... When I am barefoot and he wears thicker shoes.

Anyway, he was so nice to see, and even picked me up when he gave me a hug. Awww....

Another hilarious thing about Jamil is that he is 6'7" and his favorite drink is Sex on the Beach... And he has no idea why that is humorous. Oh Jamil.

Anyway, here is a picture of Jamil standing behind Danielle, who was also standing.

Oh hilarious. And how can you look at that smile and not smile yourself? Impossible. What a glove!

Evidently, Jamil was not the only "celebrity" to be at Murphy's that night.

A few minutes after we Jamil returned to his other friends, I was approached by a goth-looking individual.

I had a bit of difficulty hearing him, but I was pretty sure that he asked me if I would like to get my picture taken for "the black guys website."

Whaaaat?

First of all, why would I be on a black guy's website? I mean.... I enjoy black guys.... But I don't really see why I would be on their website.

Second of all, what is this punk-lookin' white dude doing taking pictures for the black guys website?

I was so confused. Then I discovered that they were a band called "Black Ice" and that they had played at the Rave that evening. So much more logical!

Anyway, so I posed with the black ice guy, and here's the picture I found on their website. I tried to look like a rockstar, haha.

Please take a moment while looking at the above picture to notice that the man has bizarre strands of pink coming from his head that are way longer than the rest of his hair.

You can't really see in the picture, but said hair pieces are exactly that. Hairpieces. That's right, they are fake and clipped in.

Now.

I have at times put in fake green extensions under the rest of my hair, because I get bored with my hair and I'm not allowed to change it. Fiff.

However, I am not trying to portray some kind of rock star image. I'm just me, a plain old school teacher. If I wanted to be a rockstar, I would look like a rockstar all the time, damn it. Fiff.

Anyway, one more picture for the night, and that is with LL and Danielle.

Please notice that I am crouching a lot to get down to LL and Danielle's level. Haha.

After Murphy's closed, Danielle, LL, Nate Dogg, and I all went to Jimmy John's. We took our food (which is intensely fast, by the way.... At the Marquette Jimmy John's, the food gets to you so fast - your food is in your hand before you even get your change back. Incredible!) home.

LL and I decided to eat our food in the fitness center. This is because many times that I have been working out there, there have been people in there just watching tv. One even brought food in, and I believe it was La Fuente. Jerk. That made me want Mexican food SO BADLY!

Last week Monday was completely ridiculous. There were literally 9 other people in the fitness center besides me, and I was the only one working out. The rest were all watching "I Love New York."

This past Saturday morning, there was a man laying on the mat when I got in there, with his phone charging, and the lights off. Absurd.

Anyway, LL and I watched whatever weird TV show was on, and then went upstairs and finally all of us to bed.

The next morning, I woke up and wondered where my camera was. This is funny, because the morning after my birthday party, I woke up without my camera. On my birthday, it was LL who had it. On Danielle's, it was Nate Dogg.

I love my camera. You'd think I'd be better at hanging on to it!

~~~~

7.04.07

Things were kinda relaxed for the next few days.... Time to recover, I think. Hit up the normal spots, if my memory serves me correctly.

On the fourth of July, we were invited again to Jason (whose last name I don't know) and Brian Skinner's condo for a cookout. Those are always a good time!

We brought food and wine. I was under the impression that I was getting equal help on the giant bottle of wine from at least LL, and Rob Villanueva.... turns out it was pretty much just me. Also, I thought it would be a fantastic idea to do several shots of good ol' Uncle Pat Ron with Tristan, Fred, and pretty much anyone else who was interested.

As Ryan would say, shots of Uncle Pat Ron are like getting a hug from the inside.

However, too much of our favorite uncle is trouble, and....

This took a toll.

First of all, at one point, I walked out of the bathroom with my cute little skirt tucked into my boyshorts.

Smooth.

It wasn't a huge deal, though. I had almost worn a thong, but decided that since my skirt was pretty short that boyshorts would be a better option. Thank goodness for that decision! And, I picked the boyshorts very specifically. They were a pair that I wore in a lingerie fashion show that I had been in earlier in the year. I figured that hundreds of people had already seen my ass hanging out the bottom of those, so if there were a mishap, it wouldn't be a huge issue.

Did I curse myself or something?

When I came out of the bathroom, a gent we now affectionately know as "All-Seeing Eyes," came to my rescue. He was sitting on the patio when I emerged with my tail in the breeze, and ran all the way into the kitchen to save me from embarrassment. Those All-Seeing Eyes were working, thank goodness!

Next issue.... Christina, Jason, LL, Rob Villanueva and I were cuddling on the couch, which, by the way, is amazing. The biggest and best couch in the United States, I dare say.

At some point, I "fell asleep," and everyone left me. Tristan suggested LL take a picture (Thanks, Jerks!), and that is how this hyper-flattering image came to be.

If that isn't hot, I don't know what is. Bru-tality!

Somewhere before this time, I sent Danielle a text. She was outside.... Due to autotext, it came out "Brutalities I'm hammered?"

I love that it is plural. Not just one brutality, but several.

I also love that this was a question, as though I was unsure as to whether or not I was hammered. I can assure you that I was!

Anyway, this phrase has become a regular part of my speech. I apparently have since sent it to others, including Buddha, who loves it. Evidently, he likes to just say it, especially when he's hammered. He told me last night that he just likes to yell "Brutalities!" from time to time, and I guess people look at him funny. Oh Buddha. You kill me.

And in a final act, someone woke me up quickly. Bad call. I had only one meal all day, unless you count the many mililiters of fermented grapes I had consumed. The end result of this is me vomming....

First, the reverse eating occurred in the front yard. Who does that? Just goes and voms in nice people (one of whom is an NBA player)'s yards?? Apparently, I do.

LL took me home. The vomming continued. Oh her poor car's exterior doors.

What is funny about this, is that Tristan would later reference this night (he took a picture of me struggling on the stoop) and say something about LL taking me home to take advantage of me. It somehow came up that I was screaming, and we found it quite amusing that this was actually true. I was screaming "No! No! Don't stop! Stopping is bad!" at LL. This was due to the fact that LL naturally wanted to stop her car when I was vomming out the window, but we'll just let Tristan think that it was for a more fun, less gross, and less embarrassing reason!

The next day was super brutal.

7.05.07

Fiff. Talk about absurdity day!

Alright..... So on this fine day, my mom, and Kim and Melissa (who you read about in the Racine Wedding blog) and one of Melissa's friends went to Summerfest for the Bon Jovi concert.

Oh man.

First of all, I must remind you that in order to hang out with Kim and Melissa, I have to be drunk.

However, this was a definite struggle because I was soooo hung-ova! (In your head, I should've sounded like Brian Fantana there).

We decided that it would be easiest for all of us to meet up at Murphy's and take the bus to the fest. Since my cousin Christine (Who you can see here as well as here) and her husband Adam (in the first "here" link) both had tickets to this concert as well, they met up with us at Murphy's as well.

So we got to Murphy's, and Joe got to be one of the first people I know in Milwaukee to meet my mom. Innnteresting.

So Melissa shows up after we've already started drinking with her friend that looks like she's about 8. Innnnteresting.

We get on the bus, and I am already ready to be rid of this heinosity.

At this point, I am pretty sure that I hadn't eaten a single bite of actual food the whole day. It was kinda drizzly, and all I really had accomplished was getting dressed and going to get my crock pot from Jason's, since my dishes weren't my main concern when I was vomming on the porch.

So when we got to Summerfest, my mom and Kim's focus was to get beer. Christine, Adam and I wanted food. So food was what we got.

We went to Pizzeria Uno. I do not recommend this at Summerfest. I liked it in the actual restaurant, but I did not like it at the fair. Bru-tal.

So after food, we parted ways, because we had different seats at the concert.

It had been kinda drizzling. Someone made a comment about how we were going to get wet.

My mom, in all her momness, then mentioned that she was already wet.

Thanks, Mom, but I would rather not know about that!

Melissa and I went for alcohol, and got the max you could bring back. She and I were drinking their "wine coolers" which were actually some sort of carbonated wine. We were double fisting, which was continually brutal because of me still being hung over. Yes, at 730pm.

As I had mentioned, I need to drink when I am with these two ladies, because I can't take them anyway.

I think the same might be the case for Melissa, because some of the looks she was giving me when her mom would talk made me feel sorry for her.

There's also the fact that she was wearing a fanny pack and light blue eyeshadow from lashline to lid, and some really hideous tennis shoes. Fiff.

But so began the comments about the apparent hotness of Jon Bon. Personally, I don't see it, but that's just me.

Here are a few more....

(First, from my mom.)

"Nobody has a right to be that hot."

"He looks stoned. I like that stoned look."

"Show more butt!"

"He's not sweating as much as I am. I'm starting to think he's not as hot for me as I am for him."

For the next comment from my mom, I have to give a little background info.

My mom thinks that she killed Dale Earnhardt.

I was on the phone with her when she was watching the race. She bets money on them in NASCAR pools. She "boogida'ed" him, because she wanted him to lose.

To boogida someone is to point your right index finger at someone, and say "boogida."

Anyway, after she "boogida'ed" him, he crashed and died. Now she blames herself.

However, instead of retiring the boogida, she reinforced it. She got a tattoo on her index finger of a lightning bolt!

So anyway, at the Bon Jovi concert, she says "If I can boogida and kill Dale Earnhardt, why can't I do this (she does the 'I dream of Jeanie' thing) and get Jon Bon to come right here?"

Yes, that is hilarious.

However, the most absurd (and terrifying) comment of the night was made by none other than Kim.

They were playing Dead or Alive.

Kim's response?

"More alive than dead, but I'll take him either way!"

Whaaaaaaaaaat????

Gross.

Gross gross gross!!!

Enough about that. Also during the concert, my mom was making comments about Richie Sambora. Apparently, she hates him.

Her best comment about him is as follows:

"He's a slug. A tagalong. He thinks he's Stevie Ray Vaughn, but he's not."

Oh mom, hilarious.

After the concert, we decided we needed to eat more. Well, that was probably mostly me, haha.

It was at this point that I discovered that friend of Melissa had arrived with had urinated in a cup during the concert. In the Marcus Ampitheater. And if I am not mistaken, I think she was actually sitting next to her dad.

Anyway, also while we were sitting there, some girls came over to tell me that there were apparently hot cops around the corner that would make us "cream our jeans." Nice.

So, we had to check these gents out.

They were alright. They were pretty old, though.... Like in their thirties. ^haha^

My mom then thought it was a good idea to tell them to make sure that they watched over Danielle and I, since apparently they normally patrolled my neighborhood. She also thought it would be a good idea to start giving them my phone number. And, since this was a period in my life where I was drunkenly giving it to everyone who asked, I gave it to them.

A couple days later, I got a call from Officer Mike who wanted to have a drink with me. He left me a voicemail, and I never called him back. Brut swoop!

Then we took the bus back to Murphy's and had a couple more drinks. Then Kim dropped me off at home, and dropped my mom back at home. It should be noted, however, that she did offer me more can coozies from her daughter's wedding. Apparently, people didn't all take theirs, and so there were extras.

How could anyone pass up those treats?

7.06.07

This day wasn't that amazing, but I definitely got into Bar Louie without my ID with Cory, which was kinda exciting. I felt like ass. I really had a bad cold. I wanted to die, and didn't want to go out at all. After Bar Louie, we went to some hotel where I saw cocaine for the first time. Weird.

07.07.07

This was brutal. Apparently, this was my friend Jon's 27th birthday. Since it was 07.07.07, he decided that he would try out his luck at the casino. AT SEVEN AM!

Whaaaaaaat??

So I went to the casino at 7am. Didn't gamble, just walked around with Jon.

I was feeling really kinda sick still, and had to leave early (like at 8am!) to go home and back to bed.

So I did.

7.08.07

Ever since the incident where I exposed my boyshorts to everyone at the cookout on the fourth of July, I had been getting offers from All-Seeing Eyes to hang out, which I had been declining due to hanging out with my mom and being deathly ill.

Decided that I needed to go out and see Lupe Fiasco and Brian McKnight on the last night. Apparently, I could've met the Raccoon Whisperer, as he was out with All-Seeing Eyes earlier. So I met up with All-Seeing Eyes and we went. I think I left my personality at home, though. I was so tired and sick feeling.

I pretty much stood there. Afterward, we went to All-Seeing Eyes' apartment, and he showed me video clips of him on the news, and then took me home.

Funny story from later, about All-Seeing Eyes.... I would sleep over to cuddle later (JUST CUDDLE, for the record), and in the middle of the night, I apparently drunkenly rolled over and said to him, "This is so fucking odd."

Who does that?

Me.

And on that note, I am going to go home, pack my bags, and move to Morocco and become an exterminator.

Ok, I am just kidding. It is "False Confessions Day," and "World Hello Day."

In addition to Thanksgiving, tomorrow is "Make your own country day!" Who would make their own country?

Anyway, have a safe and happy holiday.

=)