You know how I said it's birthday season? Well, that is about to get out of control.
Friday night is Broseph's birthday. He's been all over my blogs. You know him, you love him. That will be the warmup for the weekend, seriously!
Saturday is when the proverbial shit hits the proverbial fan.
Her birthday is starting with a dinner, and then moving on to Zim's. Always an interesting time.
From there, we have the Fred (remember, celebrating "No Beard Day with him ended up with me waking up wearing 7 bandaids), Tristan, and the Raccoon Whisperer's (from the wifebeater bar crawl and various other posts, such as the one where he got his name!) group birthday party. I had been under the impression that this particular birthday was actually next weekend, but evidentally (perhaps because I am an illiterate moron?), I was incorrect. Fiff.
This makes me a little nervous. First of all, I am likely to arrive there hammered. Friends of Lers like to order shots to the dinner table. And, well, it's Lers! Trouble.
Then, there's the fact that Fred has a propensity to make it rain. And, Troy is going to be there. The last time we went out was the wifebeater bar crawl, I think (it's been too long, whenever it was!), but I will never forget (or entirely remember) the random Wednesday night that he and I had approximately 25 martinis between the two of us. Yikes. Should be absurd. My backup camera battery is charging. (I am now entirely optimistic about having lost or possibly just given away my battery on NYE, since now I have two! The camera battery situation will come into play again later in this blog) =)
At least the Raccoon Whisperer will have my best interests in mind. Although, I do hope that I get drunk texts from him later that say things along the lines of "Before it was my esophagus, now let go." or "You need a man with sensitivity." Hilarious.
Anyway, after celebrating with those three joksters, it's time to move on to Decibel, of course, where the remaining two birthday boys will be, as well as another party. Yikes.
One of the birthdays at Decibel is that of Parker, one of the amazing bartenders at Decibel that always takes care of us, and dresses up absurdly with Shawn on Tuesdays - remember the moustaches? 80s wigs?
What concerns me about this particular gent's birthday celebration is that on the invite, it said something about drinking our faces off, or drinking until we black out, or something to that effect being on the agenda. We'll see if I even still have a face when I get to Decibel!
The other birthday that will be celebrated is that of Marcellus, who I met that ridiculous night that I met Devin Harris (the night before Denim night!) He's a goofass. That's all that needs to be said!
And finally, Khary, who you may remember as the crazy guy who tried to snort the shot on the aforementioned wifebeater bar crawl, or the guy who was making it rain for LL on Valentine's Day (her birthday), is having a party at Decibel on Saturday as well. Not sure why. Perhaps because it is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day? Or maybe he wants to celebrate Dakota Fanning's birthday? That's creepy. I'll go with Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day.
So yeah, Saturday might kill us. I'm considering writing my will now, and saying my final goodbyes.
Anyway, I have great news! I am finally in a good mood.
Mamalicious got great news from the doctor on Tuesday. They got all the cancer, and she will most likely only have to do chemo, not radiation too. That'll make her healing process faster and smoother.
So we went out Tuesday night, and I was just so happy. I felt like I was finally myself again. Like I didn't have to be all weird whenever someone would ask me how I am doing.
It was so bizarre. Smiling felt weird. I know I never completely stopped smiling and laughing, but I don't know... I don't know if I was only half smiling, or only smiling half as much as I normally do, but it just felt weird!
And apparently, people who've not known me long could tell. Not that it felt weird, but that there was a difference in my smile. DJ Jem told LL that I was especially smiley that night. She was like, "No, Mandelicious is back to normal!"
And that felt great!
Although I hesitate to believe that "normal" was an appropriate word to describe me, haha.
So Tuesday was nice and relaxed, to begin with. Seemed like a normal night.
We began the hug/hello tour, and found the fatboyz (minus Sye Young, who was spinning) with Dustin in VIP.
HAD to get a picture of that....
Left to right.... DJ Jem, LL, DJ Streetz/DJ Street Treatz, me, Dustin, Ella? Not sure about her name.
Next we got a shot of Jem and LL.
SO CUTE!
Anyway, shortly after, we went back to wandering around.... Ran into Hen, hadn't seen him in awhile...
Next thing I know, just after doing a shot to celebrate mint chocolate day (it was delicious), we realize that Rasheed Wallace is in the club. That was exciting, even though I have a tendency to dislike him (and all Pistons).
Then, suddenly, shots started showing up like crazy. I think I did about four in one minute. I didn't even know who they were coming from!
Next thing I know, this guy Rich who I had met several times before was there, and Joe from Murphy's had been wearing his watch. Joe gave it back to him, and I realized that it was diamond-encrusted and that the face was as large as a dinner plate, so I asked if I could try it on.
He handed it over, and I put it on. I think it weighed as much as Danielle does. I wanted to take a picture, but we had just tried to take a picture of the two of us, twice, and took video instead (which I haven't watched yet, but I am sure are completely moronic, since we are sitting there looking like we are waiting for our picture to be taken), so my battery was dead. No picture taking ability.
I expressed mild sadness about the lack of ability to document me with such a watch, and Rich just says "Just keep it for now, until Thursday. I have another one at home. You can give this one back at Cush.
And that is how I wound up wearing this watch for the rest of the night, which was very long.
I'll see if I can get a picture of Rich and I with the watch tonight.
What happens next is open to interpretation.
One could say that we went home, and then the next morning woke up at five to all meet at Ma Fisher's to have a nice, early breakfast. That's my account, if I take my mom's habit of stretching the truth in my blog....
Or there's the truth...
Anyway, because of the intense amount of shots all at once, I definitely needed some food and time to sober up after Decibel. That meant Ma Fischer's.
So LL, Paul, and I are sitting at Ma's, eating some food, when suddenly we noticed a news van pull up. We joked about how we were going to be on the news.
Well, once again, joke comes true. Stephanie Brown of CBS 58 came right on in to ask if it'd be alright to interview us about voting for the 5am news. Live.
I decided that maybe it wouldn't be the best idea to have myself tipsy on the news three hours before I had to be at work.
I don't know why LL refused....
But Paul was all in.
So Steph Brown told us to wait a few minutes, and I thought to myself, "Who would be awake at such an absurd hour?"
The answer? My mom, and Lynch, my co-worker.
So I texted them and asked.
Jackpot!
They sure were!
Lynch asked if I was out of my mind. Mom dvr'ed the interview.
We were discussing different ways to make the interview hilarious. I suggested Paul saying that he didn't know what to do with his hands and to continuously raise them up, in the style of Ricky Bobby.
He thought that it would be amusing to eat fries from this ridiculous bowl of them, and drink water straight from the pitcher.
He did not take my advice, or his. Once he started talking, he was saying things that actually seem intelligent. I don't even know what he said. I stopped paying attention when I realized that it was not funny.
Instead, I texted Lynch and asked him if he thought that I should put my foot on Paul's chest, so that a random stiletto toe would pop into the frame. Since Paul wasn't being funny, I thought I'd take matters into my own hands. Or feet.
Lynch advised against it, so I didn't do it. I always listen to him. He's my school dad!
P.S. Paul was wearing the watch during this absurdity. It remains to be seen whether the watch is in the newscast.
Anyway, right after he was done, he called some old lady a liar (she pretended like she was mute to get out of being interviewed, and then started talking later), and it was time to go home and to bed. I slept about a half hour before going to school. Yikes. Fiff.
Mom said that Paul did a good job playing sober, but that he sounded like Elmer Fudd when he was talking about terrorists (or should I say tewwowists?).
Here's Mamalicious' account of the event:
At 4:30 a.m. this morning I was watching a ridiculous infomercial (which I will blog about after further investigation) and I hear my cell phone beep(I have a message!) What- who texts @ this hour? Mandie! That's who! She tells me to catch the channel 58 news @ 5 a.m. because the camera crew is @ Ma Fischer's and they are going to interview her friend Paul (whom she and L.L. are STILL out with from last night) I text her back (just o.k. because I'm not really fast at that sort of thing) She calls me, amazed that I am awake! (As I have mentioned before, I don't sleep for very long periods of time, especially since I've done nothing to tire myself out as of late)! I set the DVR- since they are hammered and this should remain on tape for further enjoyment!
I was not disappointed! While I've not met Paul in person, having been a bartender and a partier for years, I'm pretty good at spotting people playing the sober roll! He was doing soooo well, until- he had to say terrorist. Yes, he said it like Elmer Fudd would have! Marv and I cracked up! Mandie and L.L. must have noticed it too, because Paul's eyes moved across the table and he got a smile on his face and he looked like he was going to laugh! I'll watch it again! Man I love that DVR!
It's great to be laughing that early in the morning! Can't wait to meet Paul! He appears to be my kind of guy! A kindred spirit so to speak!
Hi-larious.
I can't wait to watch it!
Well, I should probably eat something before I get ready to go out.
To those who are subscribed to these blogs.... Sorry that I am blogging so much. On one hand, I am doing well with my New Year's resolution to blog more, but on the other, I realize that these bad boys are pretty damn long, and can steal your life (haha RW). But now that my mom is only sitting around and healing, she doesn't have much to do.
I suggested that she take whatever it is that is the osteoporosis medicine that Boniva competes with...
Have you ever seen those Boniva commercials? Sally Field is the spokeswoman, and she talks about how Boniva is wonderful because you only have to take it once a month.
She talks about how much time she saves, because she doesn't have to take a pill ONCE A WEEK! It actually shows a calendar, with a pill on each week, and Sally Field swipes her hand across it to wipe away all the pills.
What in hell?
Am I the only person who just opens the gullet and takes it down when it's pill time? Is there a long ordeal involved for some people that I don't know about? How much time is really being saved? I can't wait for the testimonials that are sure to follow.... "Now that I take Boniva instead of that once a week business, I learned Mandarin in my spare time I saved!" Come on, people!
Alright, that's enough. Cliff's Notes version of that point is that my mom has spare time, and I am trying to entertain her with blogs. And lift her spirits, which are already higher than I can even understand, which helps me deal.
Alright. Time for more adventures! Hopefully I'll make it through Saturday to blog again!
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