Brut brut bru-tal! Drunk diary 12-17-06

You may be wondering why I named my blog "Brut brut!" Well, it's because that is one of the phrases I use the most in life. I'm not referencing the heinous-smelling men's aftershave found in g-stores nationwide. I'm shortening the word "brutal." I often sing "brut brut" in many songs. I've also been well-known to say "Bru-tal." That would be changing that second syllable to rhyme with "Al" or "Sal" or "Hal," and not "bull." Anyway, there's your explanation.

Most of the things in my life are bru-tal. Lots of my stories are absolutely bru-tal. Here's one of them!

I thought I told you that we don't stop, I thought I told you that we don't stop!

STICK THROUGH TO THE END. IT'S THE BEST PART AND TOTALLY WORTH IT.

So yeah... I totally meant to blog this sooner, but I've been busy (i.e. last week of school, mid-week trips to Brother's in Madison for Wingding Wednesday, staff Christmas party, etc.). Then today it was in one of my three dreams during my afternoon nap (the other two involved a lady snatching my wine glass out of my hand at a fancy soiree in front of my groupd of female friends, and Ous telling me I owe him 43 hugs. Weird.). I'll throw in the dream that inspired me to blog at the end of this silly account.

So Sunday, December 17th, I was in a runway show. It was for DiCarlo Salon, Fred Fashions, MP2, and Sweet Kicks, and at the Vucciria in Milwaukee. I was pretty excited, because it had been awhile since my last runway show, and I didn't think I'd be selected for it. Plus, I'd like to do more modeling and stuff, especially in Milwaukee, since I live around here.

Also in the show with me were Nicole and Jon, who are both modeling friends of mine. Nicole could be described as my partner in crime, especially after this last Sunday. Fairly recently, when Nicole had to deal with a heinous situation, I suggested she fill a water bottle with Bacardi Limon and water... The alcohol is virtually undetectable. So, Nicole pulled right through and showed up at the salon with a HUGE evian bottle filled with this magical mixture. Because we obviously needed that.

So we get crazy runway hair done and cute makeup... Here's a picture of us at the salon...

Aren't we fly? I don't think we're really drunk yet at this point...

Anyway, so we get to the show and practice a million times and have a couple drinks. They're making them strong, too.

Wait a minute, I skipped a part. Not to name names here, but SOMEONE (who I love dearly) could not find her car. Apparently this was not due to alcohol, but entirely because of talking on the phone while parking. So we were driven around a bit to get the car, and finally arrived at the show.

We ran through several times and made friends with other models involved, the dancers that performed in-between the passes of the models, as well as other behind-the-scenes people.
Then we did the show, which was fun. I have seen some pictures of the show, and it looked like it was a success, and I felt good about my performance in it.

After the show, we were instructed to walk around in our last outfits for an hour and mingle with people. Great. This was basically like Jason DiCarlo telling us to go and get hammered.

I mingled. Oh yes, I mingled. One of the people I mingled with was Dan Gadzuric. That would be a center for the Milwaukee Bucks. If you are a more visual person, maybe this will help you...

Apparently, at this point I was hammered. I was trying to talk to him about a broken TV in the Bradley Center locker room, but it was a struggle. He didn't understand a goddamn word I was saying. I swear I was speaking English! I was not, however, texting in English. I'll throw in a list of the texts I sent this absurd evening at the end, just before my description of the dream sequence!

Here's a picture of Nicoley and I with the aforementioned dancers...

I like the one guy's chain jewelery. He also had a matching bracelet (not pictured). And under the padlock was one of the Aldo necklaces that I have that benefits AIDS. We obviously have the same taste!

Here's a shot of Nicole and I....

We're obviously sober. At least I don't look naked.. Oh, wait...

Nicole apparently also liked the guy with the chain... Here's proof!

She definitely told him that he would look better with a grill! (One of the first times we went out, I woke up to find a picture of Nicole with a friend we had made at Marquette Gyros that definitely had a grill. We meet the best people, don't we, Nicole?)

So then after our hour of obligatory and awesome mingling, we changed out of our awesome clothes.... I made friends with Gina, the girl who was in charge of shoes. Such good friends, apparently, that I changed clothes right in front of her. I also made a bet with her ($100) that I was older than her. She's 31. Oops! I texted her, and we plan to hang out soon (possibly tonight!).

So Jon checked out for the night, and Nicole, a model named Russ (who was actually in the last wedding that I went to with my ex-boyfriend) and I went to Jo Cat's on Brady (so I'm told). It was at Jo Cat's that I saw my friend Adam. He's trouble. I don't think I've ever been in his presence without doing at least one shot. And they are never things like "Dirty Girl Scout" or triple sec. It's always stuff like So-Co and Lime, or Liquid Cocaine. Perfect. Just what the doctor ordered.

According to Adam, I berated him for not recognizing me, despite my crazy runway hair. I then told every single girl that walked past that Adam was a baller. He bought me a So-Co and lime, and we took this great picture (which was, by the way, one of the only things that made me remember seeing Adam... Oops!)

Then Nicole, Russ, and I left. I am pretty sure that we went to Red Light, which is the bar above Trucadero (or however you spell it!).

Anyway, I am pretty sure more drinking occurred. It had to. I am also pretty sure that I was still drunk for awhile at school. Oops.

Maybe some day, I will start acting my damn age. Don't hold your breath!

Alright, as promised, here are the texts!!!

"Hey, it's madg3 and we are going to hang out." - me to Gina, in charge of shoes!

"Where wm are?" - to Nicole

"No, I love you." - to Ous!!!! Perfect. How romantic?!

""I'm at an amer show party and hammered."

"Hi miss you!"

"Dabo"

"I'm working to your tv spoken" - to Oha, intended for Ous.

"Nowy straightu i i'pl here!" - To Curti - Was I speaking in Hawaiian????

"I n'i4 7768"

"I miri you"

"I big not fifte yet."

"S'hhhi!"

"Ale de feel beautivetj' "

"You serge hot and I want you."

"Damm tv. I lurk want you. And there other peeps. F' "

Yeah. So that's good.

I called Gina (shoe girl) on Tuesday because she told me I could buy the boots that I wore and get a modeling discount. When I told her who I was, she was like "Oh, cute little drunk Mandie!"

Perfect.

When I went into the store to try on the boots and buy them, we talked a bit about the show. I told her that I had heard from a photographer that my first dress was sheer when the flashes hit it. One of the other store clerks asked if I was wearing underwear. Gina was like "I saw her with her pants off, and no, she wasn't wearing underwear!"

Great. Good good. She says that it was just Nicole and another female model in there, so I guess I still had SOME discretion!

When Ous was over on Tuesday after his game, he informed me that I also called him. Apparently, he was sleeping. But when he woke up (while I was leaving an incredibly intelligent message at 231 am), he called me back (How sweet. Maybe he thought I was having an emergency issue?). He says that I was mumbling unintelligibly at the beginnging, and then I was like "Hold on, someone is calling me. It's you! Hello? Hello?" He then tried to tell me that I said "hello" for three or four minutes. Fabrication, Ous! My phone records say I was on the phone less than a minute and a half!

I wonder what it's like to have never tried alcohol, and have some crazy chick drunk dial and drunk text you regularly?!

So my dream... I had a dream that Jason DiCarlo asked me to be in another show, and when everyone was getting ready, he said "This time, there will be no alcohol at the show" and then he looked at Nicole and I with a crazy look! Bru-tal!

Now I ask you...

Would you rather be compelled to enter every room by jumping into the doorway with an imaginary pistol drawn like a 70's cop show or invariably make your orgasm face instead of smiling when being photographed?