Another example of me doing well at taking more pictures is this next shot, which I took in a grocery store.
Are those labels serious? They may as well be called "Brand X" or something. Looks like it came straight out if an 80s commercial or something!
Another great example of my photography stepping up a notch (at least in frequency) is this bird's eye view of a bottle of the citrus-flavored Smirnoff in a paper bag, which was found whilst Danielle and I were on our way out one night in our hallway. Yes, oh yes, we have classy neighbors. At least it's not Brand X!
With such intimidating neighbors, Danielle and I really need to make sure that people know that they can't mess with us. Here's a picture of us standing outside of our apartment.
I'll quote the great Nate Dogg, when I say, "And if yo' ass is a busta, 2 1 3 will regulate."
And you know this! Try not to shake in fear!!!
So yeah.... Now is the time for the absurdity to begin. As you may remember from having read this blog (Happy 25th Birthday, Everyone!), late Winter/early Spring is an intense time for birthdays!
It was all supposed to start last Saturday in Chicago, with Sarah's party, which was to involve a lot of guitar hero, singing star, and 8-bit nintendo, but alas, that was cancelled due to illness, so tonight's the start, with Ell's birthday. You may remember Ell from the Halloween Blog, or the New Year's Blog.
This coming Saturday will be quite the birthday extravanganza, as well, as LL and I will be up in Madison, at the Inferno, at Leather and Lace Night! I am kinda just considering it a Halloween Party. Then there's LL's birthday party coming up, and her birthday coming up as well, and then Dustin and Drew's party, then Nicole's party, then Lers, then Fred, Tristan and the Raccoon Whisperer's.... That's just February! Fiff. Out of hand.
Should be fun and absurd, and there shall be pictures and blogs I'm sure!
Anyway, even though I didn't get to start the birthday celebration last Saturday as planned, the weekend still had it's fair shair of absurdity.
Mamalicious came up Friday to go see Velvet Revolver at the Rave with Danielle and I.
Why is it that every time my mom comes up, I end up blacking out half the night? Bru-tality!
Anyway, it was she that took the picture of Danielle and I outside my apartment door. Notice in the pictures from this night that I am wearing a sweatshirt that says "Vultures" across the front. LOVE IT!!!
Once mom arrived, she was ready to start partying. Don't know why this surprised me. It's not like this was the first time I met this woman or something!
We ordered a pizza from Pizza Shuttle, and commenced beveraging. Captain and Coke Zero (eww) and shots of Tequila.
By the time Danielle got home at about 6, I was tipsy. I do not know how this occurred, but it was ridiculous.
We decided to go to Murphy's before the concert to see Joe. Kept up the Captain and Coke consumption to see if my mom's theory about mixing things being my problem. She might be onto something!
At Murph's, we made friends immediately, which is almost always the case, especially when I am out with Mamalicious. Except, for some reason, it seems as though the friends we make are more interesting when she's around, at least most of the time!
I don't even know how it came up, and I can't say that the fact that it did suprised me, but soon after our arrival, we discovered that one of our new friends has a pierced penis. He made the claim, and then my mom made him prove it. In the bar. Shocking, right? Not for Mamalicious!
It was at this point that I sent out a mass text to those who know my mom and the fact that she was coming up to the Mil to inform them of what had just taken place. Dustin's response was priceless, and dictuary material.
"You two are two peas in a shot glass."
Whaaaaat?
Let me just state for the record that I would never ask to see someone's penis in a bar.
I don't know what I did to get a reputation that makes it seem like my mom and I are alike!
I'm innocent.
0=)
So yeah, back to the story.
My mom checked it out, and the guy was not lying about his pierced penis. Thank God I knew that, because I can't even imagine the horrible time I'd have trying to sleep without knowing! It also eased my mind to know that when providing evidence for the pierced penis, my mom noticed urine stains on ol' boy's khakis. Splendid!
We bid our new friends adieu, and they promised that if they saw us at the Rave, that they would buy us a drink. Excellent.
We got to the Rave and apparently, Danielle needed a lesson in how to regulate. Mamalicious was more than willing to teach her!
Sadly enough, but true, my memories at this point of the night are already hazy. I believe it was 8pmish. Brut brut!
So yeah. We get upstairs to the outside of the Eagles Ballroom, and we hear a resounding "HEEEYYY!"
Yep. It was our friends from Murphy's. Here come the drinks!
They only promised us one, but they went above and beyond. Not really sure if that's a good or bad thing!
We were introducing ourselves, and at this time, an intensely ridiculous-looking man with an even more ridiculous-looking shirt was walking past. So as I introduced my mom, I gestured toward the man and said, "and this is my friend Mesh."
Mesh just looked at me like I was crazy (I have no idea why).
I then asked if he would pose with us for a picture, and he agreed.
Here we are with Mesh!
So yeah, I was definitely blatantly making fun of him to his face, and he just asked if the picture was for MySpace or something. I think I told him no, I just wanted a picture.
But either way, how is it that this man did not slap me? I don't know how I've lived my life being a jackass half the time for 26 years and no one has beaten my ass yet. Haha.
So it took Velvet Revolver about a year and a half to come out onto the stage, which gave us an inordinate amount of time to both beverage and mingle.
We mingled our way somehow to Meteorologist John Malan's son. The next morning when I was looking at my pictures, I could not fathom the situation regarding all of these dudes I had never seen before in my life taking pictures with my mom. Good thing Danielle (who my mom calls "her responsible daughter" - Hey, I'm responsible! I have a job and stuff!) remembered the thing about John Malan's son!
Here he is with my mom. Damn, that boy looks like his dad!!!
Now this next guy, I remember. Must be because drinks were flowing from his hands, and he talked to me much of the night.
The theme of famous (or almost quasi-famous) dads continues. The guy below, also with my mom, is the son of the Saz's dude. Yummy ribs. And they used to have the best chocolate cake.... Mmm...
What in hell is going on there?
Anyway, we couldn't let the concert go by without taking a picture of the three of us, so here we are! What's up with that guy trying to sneak in our picture?!
I took several pictures of Velvet Revolver on the stage, but you know that those never turn out. This is the best one, though, despite the fact that some guy's melon is in the foreground. Ah well.
No, I don't understand how I haven't been hired by National Geographic or Time Magazine as a photographer, either!
So here's another shot of my mom and some guy I've never seen before. I haven't the faintest idea why we needed a picture of her with this man, but all I can think of when I look at it is "To me, it look like a leprechaun to me!"
All you gotta do is look up in that tree! OK, moving on....
Next picture is of Danielle and I. Don't really know why we needed another of these, but I'll be damned if I am not following my New Year's Resolution!!! More pictures, bitches!
Next, we have another questionable picture. Not questionable because of something inappropriate or something, but questionable because I neither remember who took it (even looks like it could've been me!) or for what reason, or anything....
I'll let it speak its own 1,000 words.
After the concert, we went back to Murphy's. I was hammered, and apparently irate that Joe wasn't there the first time we went. He was the second time, but he wouldn't stop bartending to come down and actually give us hugs. He just waved. And apparently I was too stubborn to go down by him, so I just complained about it. That about sums that up.
Then we went to Gyro's. I believe that the goal was to obtain a cheeseburger, and I believe this goal was accomplished.
Then we went home, and I apparently did a little drunk dialing (including trying to hire help to get Refugio off my desk), before passing out.
Now, be you not mistaken, that is not the limit to the absurdity this entailed.
Just as in the Drunk Diary from last December blog, there is an interesting text outbox situation going on here.
Here we go... I was kinda able to piece a little bit more together this time than last....
Here's the river of stupidity you've been waiting for!
In response to "Where are you?" - "Xcitins for recogthugno1."
Or, when Dustin asked the same question, I responded, "Crying at Murphy's?" Brutalities, I'm hammered? I'm Ron Burgundy?
I sent the next pearl of wisdom to three people, one of whom was Danielle, and I think I might've been talking to her!
"I just put it all on D. I just xlmob go um bed."
Whaaaat??
There's also "Wdup mom hasn's made boy send!"
Excellent.
So yeah....
Oh, and I know I've mentioned before about how I know when I've really had a lot to drink....
It's when I wake up the next morning and my clothes are all over the place.
Well, this is even more prevalent in the winter, because even when I am sober, I take off both my shoes and my pants at the door.
Observe.
Hilarity.
Unfortunately, I had to go to a forensics meet the next morning to judge. When I sent Lers a text asking her what she was wearing, AC Gilman wrote back (with Lers' phone)
"I'm not wearing a bra to distract the kids. You should not wear pants."
Oh boy.
Anyway, that was that adventure. As I mentioned in the terrorist blog, Danielle gets to go directly to heaven. (Don't know why this is all a link again). She does not have to pass go or collect $200, but she goes directly to heaven, just for dealing with my drunk ass.
Can't wait for the next one!
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